Pure Exhaustion

Yep, that is me, purely exhausted! I returned Wednesday from my wonderful trip with a wonderful friend and her beautiful new baby! What a fun time! Sadly, I fell off the wagon while I was away and did not track calories nor did I exercise more than 1 day... okay if you don't count the 2 long walks on other days. When I returned home I felt this incredible need to clean the whole apartment, so I did, for two days. I cleaned every nook and cranny in almost the whole place. We do not have a big apartment, so you can imagine how thorough I was being... or was I just being slow?

Anyway, today was the return to the personal trainer to get our butts kicked into gear again. If you are not familiar with PCOS than I should explain about exercise. Exercise is of the UTMOST importance when you have PCOS. The endocrinologist reminds me every six months that I should be participating in cardiovascular work at least days per week.

The reasoning is that the less fat you have on your body the more in balance your hormones are, therefore the more likely you are to ovulate and the less symptoms of the disorder you have (in theory). Fat, on the other hand, creates an increase in the production of hormones, which when you have PCOS you simply do not need. However, some (yes only some) Doctors agree that, much like diabetes, women with PCOS will become more tired when they exercise than those without PCOS. (I do not remember the exact reasoning, but I will look up this study and report back later).

So, today was exhausting for me. Brian really worked us hard with squats using a TX Fitness band and also using a big swiss ball filled with water to 8 lbs! Also, resistance work for the upper body, sit ups with the water filled swiss balls, and pull ups and balance exercises. I left feeling Amazing (yes with a capitol A!) but by this evening I was crashed out! It was like I could not get enough food in me to keep my energy up. Surprisingly when I finally let myself crash, at 6pm, I only slept for 1 hour before feeling much better.

So, here I am, tired, worn down, tired, exhausted... did I mention I am tired? My hope is that tomorrow I will get up and continue to make good decisions about what I eat and about movement.

My new job's orientation is all next week, I am very nervous and excited all at the same time! Wish me luck!?

Vacations, Exercise, and Babies

Does anyone really "work out" when they are on vacation? To me, vacations mean sleeping in late, taking long naps, and enjoying the company, scenery, and people around you... not running around the block for 30 minutes every morning. However, yesterday I did successfully complete my resistance band work out, designed by Mr. Personal Trainer. I worked up a slight sweat, and felt better about life. But, today I woke up, Cardio day, and I don't want to go for a run, so maybe I will grab a friend and go for a long walk instead... it counts... right?

I am in Sacramento for 5 days, visiting one of my best girlfriends, her hubby, and new born baby... well not new born, she is 3 months old today. My husband asks "So, you still want a baby?" my answer, "yeah!" I was even trusted to be the first babysitter last night for a few hours so the tired parents could get out and see a movie. Easy peasie, as some of my kiddos say! Okay, I give, she was sleeping the whole time, but still.... that part I know I could do! It is just amazing to spend so much time watching a little person grow and learn each day, it is so rewarding and awe inspiring. Yes, I get the long hours, the late nights, the sleepless nights, and I get that these things may last a life time. But look at what the result is, an amazing person that you have added to the world!

I am very excited for my friends and their baby! What a pleasure to get to see a family starting off and looking toward the future!

Lessons Learned

So... squats lead to sore quad muscles (thighs) which causes you to have a hard time walking like a normal person. This is a lesson I learned this week. Another lesson I learned is that if you move more, like on the elliptical for 30 minutes the next day, all of that awkwardness and soreness goes away. Hooray! It is a great cure... soreness cured with exercise!

Things are great this week! It is may last week in the clinic, which is sad and hard and happy all at the same time. I realized in the past few weeks how much I truly love this job and that it stinks to have to leave a job over lack of compensation. I have never felt sad to leave any of my past jobs... but this time it is different. I really love all of the kiddos who I have worked with. I have worked very hard to forge good, strong relationships with my clients and their families, and now I have to say goodbye. It is especially hard to leave the clients who followed me from home health over to the clinic, and now I am leaving them, yet again. It makes me sad and it makes for a tough couple of days. I imagine that if I were not calorie counting and working out that I would be home with a migraine, for all of the stress... but surprisingly... I feel AWESOME (except for the aching quads and the fact that I am walking like a tin soldier!).

Tomorrow will be a happy day. I get to spend the entire day with my mom, sister in law, and my adorable nephews... did I mention they are really cute and adorable? There are not words... Then Thursday, my final clinic day where I will say goodbye to a few of my kiddos who have been the biggest challenge and through that became some of my favorite to work with.

I guess another lesson learned: Sometimes the things you work hardest at are the most rewarding... nix that... lets say instead: The things you work hard at are always the most rewarding (eventually). So, I am working hard every day to become a better OT, to be a good wife and daughter and auntie and friend, and now I am working hard every day to counteract PCOS and fight for my health. In the end, what is more rewarding than that?

Let the Exercise begin....

A few weeks ago, during a therapy session, one of my kiddos told another therapist "I'm doin' squats with Ms. Rhonda." We were not in fact doing squats, but today I found myself doing exactly that. I remembered my pure dislike of weight training today... I know it will get easier and I am positive that as I get better at it I will begin to like it more. Our new trainer cooked up a really nice weight routine for me, and I can already tell it is a perfect balance for me... lots of upper body, a bit of core, not a lot of Lower body... because that is already stronger. I came back from the gym and felt like a little old lady, shuffling my way back from the gym. My husband returned a bit nauseated and light headed, as he tends to push himself a bit too hard at times. So, we shuffled back home and husband crashed on the couch, and I .... I had energy! I started the laundry, changed the sheets, showered, and had some lunch... and I still feel pretty good. So, I leave my first workout, knowing that tomorrow I may not be able to lift my arms for all of the soreness, but that I am again on another great track that will hopefully get me closer to health!

Tomorrow.... hello cardio workout!

Week Update

So, it is Thursday. I have one more week left at one of my jobs and have reduced my other down to 1 client per week. I am very excited. Next week it is off to California to visit my best friend and her new baby!

The past week has been full of new self discovery, for me and my husband, mostly thanks to tracking our calories. I think, for me, I was mostly aware of what this was going to take, thanks to my prior experience with Weight Watchers in the past few years. I was more prepared to have to plan my meals and weigh each morsel of food, down to the gram. But, I think my husband has been a bit more surprised. As it turns out, we have the same speed metabolism, so we are eating the same number of calories. For me, 1500 calories a day is A Lot! I rarely get all the way there, unless at a family event in which case I am in the 3000 calorie zone, but for my husband... well... let's just say he is often hungry!

I have already lost 1 lb this week, without even having exercise in the mix! So, I feel encouraged that once again we are on the right track... even more so because this time we are doing this together. I hope sometime soon to return to the naturopath to add in some eastern medicine to the mix, but for now my concentration is on doing what I can to prepare this body of mine for what is to come.

We met with our new personal trainer again today. He came to our apartment complex to see our gym and get an idea of what equipment we have so that he can design work out programs for us. He explained that each month he will re-test our metabolic rate and change our diet/ calorie intake and exercise accordingly. My husband was also reassured that he will get to "bulk up" and I was reassured that I would not (even with my high testosterone levels... thanks PCOS!)

My GI tract is also much more happy this past week and I have easily returned to the Metformin. It has been absolutely appalling to follow the news about Avandia, and I am so relieved I made the decision to get off of it as soon as possible!

Overall, a productive week. I have decided not to post my diet and calories, however I will tell you that the first few days I was over by about 300 and the past few I have been right on or a bit below 1500 calories. For now, we will just keep on keepin' on!

Nice to meet you, Mr. Personal Trainer

Today we met Brian, our new personal trainer. I am quite excited at the prospect of having someone looking over us and guiding our diet and exercise for a while. Today was not a work out day, one of the main reasons I chose this trainer was that he does a full evaluation before ever working with you... awesome, and depressing/embarrassing! So, I thought I would share the embarrassment with all of you, as this blog is about honesty. So in the spirit of honesty, here we go.

My current weight is 152.6 lbs (okay I knew this because I weighed myself yesterday - I am 5'7" tall).

My percent of body fat is 28.8%. (this means I have 44 lbs of fat on me).

My resting Heart Rate is 68 beats per minute

There were other tests, but this is the overall summary and the easiest to put on a blog. So, the next question would be: What are the goals?

Goal weight is 131 lbs
Goal Body Fat % is less than 17.2%
Goal Resting Heart Rate is less than 64 BPM

So I need to lose about 21 lbs, decrease my BF% by about 11 percentage points, and lower my heart rate by 4 BPM.

Other concerns included:
Unequal strength between right and left side (I am VERY right dominant)
High waist to hip ratio
Poor flexibility in the low back and hamstrings.

So, the plan:

Change the diet to lower calories through keeping a food journal
Read and complete the book 100 Days of Weight Loss (For those of us who eat emotionally)
See the trainer again on Thursday to start the work out schedule!

I started the book today and bought my notebook for my food diary (I will also start trying to post what I am eating to keep me honest) and to complete my journal assignments from 100 Days.

I am super excited that Husband and I are doing this together (of course he is in much better shape than I...but he doesn't have PCOS!). I think it will be great to get healthy together, learn to support and encourage each other on the path to health, and to begin to create a healthy lifestyle for our children to be born into! Here's to change and improvement and the path to health!

NPR Reports on Avandia

My amazing husband yet again discovered another interesting NPR story, good thing he listens to NPR in the morning on his way to work! It looks like the FDA has made a strong link between heart problems and Avandia. Just a concern for women with PCOS who may be using AvandaMet for treatment! 1 in every 60 now is being reported to have an increased risk of heart failure and death!

Check out the story!
NPR Reports on Avandia

Look Upon the Future, Not the Past

It is a normal human function that we often look upon the past, revisit memories, think of people and places you once knew. Sometimes it happens unconsciously like in a dream. Often a place you visit reminds you of who you once were. I had a morning of past memories and I began to realize how different I am from who I was 10 years ago. Sure, 10 years ago I was graduating high school (okay I just aged myself), but I am so completely different than I was then. What I found amazing this morning was the realization that I have found a person to share my life with that I can grow and change with, and we still find love with each other each day. Should I post a warning now that this could be a mushy blog post? It may just be. As I was thinking back today on the person I used to be, just graduating high school, trying to be too cool for school and everyone else in my life, I am surprised at how much I was not... well... not me. Does that make sense? I had no idea at that time who i really was, what I really thought, or what I really wanted in life. It was not until a few years later that I traveled away and got to know myself, over the course of a 10 week internship in Indiana. I have a few friends still left from high school and before, however, most of my very best friends I have found since that internship. When I returned from Indiana I met my now husband about 2 months later and we have been together ever since. I woke up this morning, my husband already gone to work, and I missed him ... a lot. He knows who I am and he loves me, despite all of my defects! As I look back I forget who I was back then, I do not recognize the girl that I once was. But, as I sit here in our living room thinking of the present and the past 7 years of my life, I know exactly who I am at this exact point in time.

Metformin is making me ill!

I woke up again yesterday and today feeling pretty terrible. I am either doubled over in pain from cramps or nauseated beyond belief. I think the nausea is thanks to the Metformin. As my very smart husband pointed out, I did not ease back into the 2500 Mg dose... I jumped right back on it. So, I have a mad GI tract now. Just to top it off, I drove to the far away office today to fill in for another therapist who is on vacation and have been here since 9:00 am and have seen 1 client... it is 1:30 now and I have two clients who are supposed to come for the last two hours of the day. I am a little mad, just because I could be home being sick, watching movies, and cuddling with my nice warm heating pad. But instead I am sitting in the treatment room, writing my blog! What a waste of time...unpaid time.

I am very excited however. I am done with my "old jobs" in two weeks from tomorrow! Then I am off to sunny CA for a whole 5 days to meet up with my Northern CA girls and meet my new "niece"! I can't wait. I am in need of a vacation SO badly. Then when I return it is off to my new job. I can't wait to start working with the schools. It is a whole new learning opportunity, which I hope will be both educational and fun. Anyway, if you are reading this, thank you for sharing some of my unpaid time with me. I have really enjoyed it.... but I would still rather be home and asleep on the couch! :)

Migraines: Revenge of the PCOS

Happy Monday... or so I had hoped it would be. Unfortunately I woke up with a migraine and cramps. Oh happy day, or not. After canceling all of my clients,who probably think I was out partying and caused myself a hangover (this is not true, we were in bed by 10pm after watching fire works on TV because it was raining outside, and no drinking occurred yesterday), I downed a few yummy bread rolls and a sweet yellow peach followed by two extra strength Excedrin and returned to bed with heating pad in tow. I promptly pulled the covers over my head and commenced sleeping for two hours. It is now almost noon. My migraine has been downgraded from code red to code yellow, like an airport security warning, from migraine to a simple headache, but the pain of cramps remains strong. You may have guessed by now, if you did not pick up the cues from my sarcastic and angry post a few days ago (That is called blogging with PMS...luckily I don't think it is illegal...if my friends lived closer by they may have stopped me from posting... friends don't let friends blog with PMS!), I am in fact experiencing that lovely time of the month. With PCOS getting your period is an honest love hate relationship, especially when you are, as the doctors say, "at child bearing age." You are relieved because 1) you are regulating hormones (hooray!)otherwise you would not be having a period, and 2) you MAY have a slight chance that you are ovulating which means you really are (possibly) regulating hormones correctly. The flip side of the coin, at least for me, is that (mostly because I am not being healthy right now nor am I exercising and eating healthy) 1)Migraines ensue along with the start of the period and at times in the past have continued up to 12 days, along with said period. And 2) cramps, lovely cramps, which in my case are usually so severe that I end up bed ridden with a heating pad and living on either Excedrin or Midol. So you see now how this is an exciting yet horrific time in a woman's life, especially with PCOS.

So, here I am, spending the day in bed, I thought I would just share my thoughts with you. My wonderful husband is home today, as he was not supposed to work (it's a holiday at his job). I am hopeful he had no other plans for his day off, because now his PMS, PCOS, Migrained Crampy wife is laying in bed trying to not be too mean or pathetic!

Saturday we meet with our new personal trainer. Hopefully we will both find him acceptable and amicable. I will let you know. I just hope a little exercise leads to a lot of weight loss and a lot of hormonal regulation, so that this can become a little less of a love hate relationship.

Back to the Met!

Happy 4th of July everyone! Since I began this blog, I have gone back and forth with my health, tried a few new things, and I find myself feeling frustrated... or is that just the hormonal imbalance of PCOS? Maybe a bit of both.

As you know, I have been on the Avandamet for the past month. I have not been too pleased with how I was feeling on it. I have been very tired, my arms started falling asleep at night, I have woken up a few nights with my heart racing. And then, as you see from my last posting, I heard about the latest studies on Avandia (AvandaMet is 1/2 Avandia and 1/2 Metformin). Basically the medical community is feeling that Avandia is not safe and that 1 in 30 people using it will have a heart attack. So, I called my endocrinologist. Now, let me say, I think I have one of the best Endocrinologists in the country. However, I was informed that they wanted me to stay on the Avandamet and "give it more time" because these are not "normal side effects" of the Avandamet that I was reporting. It is funny though. I made up my own mind and went back to Metformin... and I feel SO much better in the past 3 days. My intestines are a bit unhappy, but I remember that from when I first started the Metformin and it passes.

The most exciting change that is coming soon is that I finally got my husband to agree to hire a personal trainer for a couple times per month. I am hopeful this will be the motivation I have been needing to kick my butt into gear and get me losing weight. I am really convinced that if I can add in exercise and start to make healthier choices, with the guidance of a professional, that I will be able to get back to where I was 3 years ago when i was living in California. Also, I feel that my health needs to be a number one priority right now as we start to get closer to starting our family!

Have a happy and safe 4th of July everyone!