We traveled to New Mexico to visit my husband's family for Thanksgiving. We have been planning to tell his family about the baby during this week and of course we had to tell them the first night because (1) I am practically showing and do not fit into my normal clothes and (2) neither of us can keep our mouths shut for that long! Also, this is a family who enjoys a good drink, and we figured a whole week of me turning down a drink, especially over a holiday in a cabin, would lead to suspicion anyway. It turns out, my mother in law had already started telling people at work that she was pretty sure we were going to tell them we were pregnant while we were here visiting. I guess I also gave it away that I was exhausted when we arrived and had to take a 3 hour nap to recover!
Anyway, today is Thanksgiving. I felt I should share what I am thankful for, because really, Thanksgiving is not about eating turkey and stuffing yourself with yummy foods (although this is what pregnant women across the country look forward to!), truly it is about reflecting on the good things in our lives.
This Thanksgiving I am grateful for my family. I am so lucky to have a supportive and loving husband who truly cares about me, our life together, and takes our marriage seriously, but always filling my life with humor and laughter. He always knows when to be serious and when to help me lighten the mood, as I tend to get serious enough for both of us.
I am Thankful for my parents, who have loved and supported me through everything in my life, whether they agreed with my decision or not. They have always shown the greatest respect and love throughout my life as I have grown into the person I am today. I can't wait to see them holding their (3rd) grandchild!
I am Thankful for this baby, who is growing inside of me. Having PCOS always leaves a big question mark when it comes to pregnancy, babies, and the future. I was absolutely convinced that I could not have children. I spilled many tears over the years in sadness. I spent every birthday wish as I blew out my candles wishing for babies. And now, here they are, growing and living. The past 11 weeks have been the most exciting and terrifying moments of my life. I have been exhausted and sick, and yet, it is all worth it for when I hold our baby in my arms!
I am thankful for my friends, who although they are spread far and wide, are the most supportive and loving people I have ever known. My girls in California, have been there through so many ups and downs. We don't get to talk very often, but it is just knowing that if I need them they are there 100% with love and support. I am so grateful for them.
I am grateful too for my brother, my sister in law, and my nephews. Being an aunt in the past few years has been such a wonderful experience. At times I feel I am not there enough, but I cherish the time that I get to spend with "my boys" and every second they make me proud to be their aunt.
I am grateful too for my sister Rose. She was not born my sister, in fact, we did not find each other until graduate school. But none the less, she has added such joy and comfort in my life. She is more than a friend and is the truest sister I will ever know. I am also so lucky to be aunt to her beautiful daughter who I love dearly. I wish we could live next door so that our children could grow up together, but maybe someday.
Finally, I am grateful for this life that I have been given. Life is tough, as you know. We have many happy times and many tough times. If it were not for this opportunity to be alive I would not have the experience of knowing all of the people that I am grateful for or the opportunity to know the joys of pregnancy and bringing a new life to this world.
Thank you to everyone who reads my blog. I know that it has been a while since I have posted, but now there are a whole bunch of new posts that I have been writing and holding until I was able to post them today.
I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving.
11.25.2010
11.13.2010
8 Weeks and going strong
Okay, so technically as of yesterday I am 9 weeks along, but here is our 8 week ultrasound! The past few weeks have been good. I am finally moving past the morning sickness, which will hopefully stay away for the next 7 months! There have not been any more "emergency visits" to the OB/GYN, which is good news. But, there are occasional pains, odd occurrences, and gas, lots of gas. Being pregnant makes you really wonder if you ever knew your body at all, because things start to feel completely different, odd, foreign. My husband has reminded me "you are growing a person inside of you. You have to expect that would be a little uncomfortable at times." Wow.... it's true.
I don't know that it has truly hit me yet. I think a part of me still does not trust that this is really happening or that it will really continue to happen for the next 7 months. In the back of my mind I keep thinking that PCOS will cause something to go wrong. I forgot my Metformin the other night and panicked the next morning when I realized. But, so far so good.
I am not yet showing, my belly is still small (okay it was never small, but it is the same size it always was!), and my pants still fit, for now. Last weekend was the first weekend that we allowed ourselves to start to look at baby stuff. We bought a onsie to give to Erik's mom, which I am going to iron on a decal to that says "I Love Grandma." This is our plan for when we tell her I am pregnant at Thanksgiving. Then, I actually went shopping for maternity clothes, since my mom continues to remind me that "one morning you will wake up and nothing will fit you." She was super sweet though and bought me all of my maternity clothes. I feel very spoiled, and now I know just how spoiled this little baby will be.
In the area of PCOS and pregnancy, I have been reading quite a bit of information on Metformin and Pregnancy. Supposedly there are not a lot of studies that talk about how long you should stay on the Metformin, really it is still up for debate. Some doctors will leave women on the medication for the entire pregnancy, while others will have you stay on for the first trimester, while others take you off the moment you test positive for pregnancy. I have elected to stay on it, much to the contrary of my prior thinking before I was pregnant. My thought is this: my body relies on the Metformin to regulate my testosterone/insulin resistance/hormonal balance. If I go off of it now, what is to say that my levels will not spike and I will not end up with a miscarriage? So, after speaking with my endocrinologist, I will continue the Metformin at least through February, when my next appointment takes place. I am not sure this is the right choice, but again, I feel like either way there could be potential downfalls.
The other pregnancy reading I have been doing is about Fetal Origins. It is very interesting research coming out that talks about how much impact a mother truly has on the fetus during the 9 months in utero. Right now I am reading about food and the fetus. It is so interesting how many different warnings and dietary restrictions women have been placed on in the past 100 years. But, it is definitely making me think about how I eat and what I am doing. Luckily, I am not addicted to caffeine or soda, so giving up the "bad things" has not been difficult.
I don't know that it has truly hit me yet. I think a part of me still does not trust that this is really happening or that it will really continue to happen for the next 7 months. In the back of my mind I keep thinking that PCOS will cause something to go wrong. I forgot my Metformin the other night and panicked the next morning when I realized. But, so far so good.
I am not yet showing, my belly is still small (okay it was never small, but it is the same size it always was!), and my pants still fit, for now. Last weekend was the first weekend that we allowed ourselves to start to look at baby stuff. We bought a onsie to give to Erik's mom, which I am going to iron on a decal to that says "I Love Grandma." This is our plan for when we tell her I am pregnant at Thanksgiving. Then, I actually went shopping for maternity clothes, since my mom continues to remind me that "one morning you will wake up and nothing will fit you." She was super sweet though and bought me all of my maternity clothes. I feel very spoiled, and now I know just how spoiled this little baby will be.
In the area of PCOS and pregnancy, I have been reading quite a bit of information on Metformin and Pregnancy. Supposedly there are not a lot of studies that talk about how long you should stay on the Metformin, really it is still up for debate. Some doctors will leave women on the medication for the entire pregnancy, while others will have you stay on for the first trimester, while others take you off the moment you test positive for pregnancy. I have elected to stay on it, much to the contrary of my prior thinking before I was pregnant. My thought is this: my body relies on the Metformin to regulate my testosterone/insulin resistance/hormonal balance. If I go off of it now, what is to say that my levels will not spike and I will not end up with a miscarriage? So, after speaking with my endocrinologist, I will continue the Metformin at least through February, when my next appointment takes place. I am not sure this is the right choice, but again, I feel like either way there could be potential downfalls.
The other pregnancy reading I have been doing is about Fetal Origins. It is very interesting research coming out that talks about how much impact a mother truly has on the fetus during the 9 months in utero. Right now I am reading about food and the fetus. It is so interesting how many different warnings and dietary restrictions women have been placed on in the past 100 years. But, it is definitely making me think about how I eat and what I am doing. Luckily, I am not addicted to caffeine or soda, so giving up the "bad things" has not been difficult.
11.07.2010
Scared, Tired, Emotional
(Warning: This post was written 11-7-10, but is posted late so that we could tell all family before the world knew what was going on!)
I know, they say it is all part of being pregnant. You are exhausted and you cry a lot. But, no one told me how afraid I would feel. The past week has been tough. I am excited for the baby, but I am more afraid I will lose the baby than anything. I have had some spotting, which the doctor says is "normal... well it is never normal to have bleeding, but not anything to be too concerned about." I have had a bit more spotting the last few days and I can't wait until Monday for our 8 week ultrasound. Unfortunately I just have this terrible feeling that we will find out that something has gone wrong. I blame PCOS, fully and completely for this. I know that all women, PCOS or not, have miscarriages. But knowing I am at a higher risk, just makes me feel so much more worried! I hate feeling worried, I don't want to make the baby a stressed out baby because I am worried all of the time. But I just do not know how to work through all of this. My wonderful aunt and uncle sent me a pregnancy journal, but I cannot even bring myself to write in it. I am afraid that once I become optimistic, once I put it down on paper in a lovely journal, that I will lose the baby. But what if I don't document what is going on in that journal? Will I regret later that I didn't write it down?
Other symptoms remain constant. I feel nauseated and disgusted by most foods and smells. I have begun to wonder why they call it "morning sickness" when it lasts all day. But occasionally I have cravings for fried rice and egg rolls. My other big craving has been for a burrito smothered in green chili. My husband has been wonderful and lets me partake in all of my cravings, even when I am eating a left over burrito for breakfast from the night before. Everyone tells me these are good signs. Unfortunately, sometimes, the worry overtakes the "good signs" and I find myself doubting.
The other thing I just cant do yet is buy or look at maternity clothes. I have tried, twice, to look at maternity pants, but I just cannot bring myself to buy any. My pants still fit for now, but again, I worry that if I buy the pants something will go wrong.
I don't want to be a worried pregnant lady. I just wish the spotting would stop and that Monday would hurry up and get here so that I can hear that heartbeat again and see a growing baby!
Until Tomorrow - I'm a worried, but hopeful mama to be!
I know, they say it is all part of being pregnant. You are exhausted and you cry a lot. But, no one told me how afraid I would feel. The past week has been tough. I am excited for the baby, but I am more afraid I will lose the baby than anything. I have had some spotting, which the doctor says is "normal... well it is never normal to have bleeding, but not anything to be too concerned about." I have had a bit more spotting the last few days and I can't wait until Monday for our 8 week ultrasound. Unfortunately I just have this terrible feeling that we will find out that something has gone wrong. I blame PCOS, fully and completely for this. I know that all women, PCOS or not, have miscarriages. But knowing I am at a higher risk, just makes me feel so much more worried! I hate feeling worried, I don't want to make the baby a stressed out baby because I am worried all of the time. But I just do not know how to work through all of this. My wonderful aunt and uncle sent me a pregnancy journal, but I cannot even bring myself to write in it. I am afraid that once I become optimistic, once I put it down on paper in a lovely journal, that I will lose the baby. But what if I don't document what is going on in that journal? Will I regret later that I didn't write it down?
Other symptoms remain constant. I feel nauseated and disgusted by most foods and smells. I have begun to wonder why they call it "morning sickness" when it lasts all day. But occasionally I have cravings for fried rice and egg rolls. My other big craving has been for a burrito smothered in green chili. My husband has been wonderful and lets me partake in all of my cravings, even when I am eating a left over burrito for breakfast from the night before. Everyone tells me these are good signs. Unfortunately, sometimes, the worry overtakes the "good signs" and I find myself doubting.
The other thing I just cant do yet is buy or look at maternity clothes. I have tried, twice, to look at maternity pants, but I just cannot bring myself to buy any. My pants still fit for now, but again, I worry that if I buy the pants something will go wrong.
I don't want to be a worried pregnant lady. I just wish the spotting would stop and that Monday would hurry up and get here so that I can hear that heartbeat again and see a growing baby!
Until Tomorrow - I'm a worried, but hopeful mama to be!
11.01.2010
A smudge and a heartbeat
It was a crazy couple of weeks with lots of blood testing for HcG levels and lots of worrying. I became worried because, well, when people tell you that you are at high risk of miscarriage you worry. I was also having pains, cramps, and spotting. But, my HcG levels kept rising. On October 24th, my HcG levels were above 22,000, which was a good sign. That night though the cramping became terrible and the next day, after working out that morning I was feeling terrible and I began having spotting again. So, I worried. It is what I do best. It was that day that I really decided that I like our OB/GYN! I called the office and they squeezed me in. My husband rushed home from work, leaving a meeting and probably freaking out all of his coworkers, and off to the doctor we went. I was so afraid he would say we were losing the baby, but through it all I just had a feeling, it had to be okay. I am sure most women convince themselves it will all be okay, that your baby will make it, and these of course were my thoughts.
As I climbed on the table I grasped my husbands hand and said a little prayer in my head. The moment the ultrasound began I knew, because there I saw it, our little smudge inside a yolk sac! The doctor turned up the volume and there was the heart beat at 121 beats per minute! A smudge with a heartbeat... and it is our smudge! It was amazing, I cried (of course!) and my husband grasped my hand and my head with a look of amazement... there was our baby! It still amazes me that something measuring under 7mm's can have a heartbeat!
Since that day it has all felt real, like it is okay to accept it, to get excited, and to look at baby names and talk about the future again. For the past month we have held our breath, worried, cried, and held it all in. But no longer. I know I am just 7 weeks, 3 days along but I can't help but be excited for the future, for our baby, for a new life!
We will return to the doctor next Monday for our 8 week check up and ultrasound. For now, all is well. I am finally getting my energy back, it has been a few tough weeks of going to bed at 7:30 and feeling too tired for anything other than work. I even took almost two complete weeks off of working out, as I had some morning sickness. But today, I returned to working out. I still am worried about running, so I speed walk and tomorrow I will lift weights. Our trainer has provided me with a new work out program, so that I don't have to do crunches or lay on my stomach (both of which make me nauseous!). My jeans are beginning to feel a bit tight, and when I run my hand over my belly I can feel a slight bump there, and I know that's our baby in there. I cry over just about anything from cheezy commercials to stories about mothers and their babies. But, so far, it has been a joy and pleasure carrying this baby. I know there are lots of challenges, changes, and maybe even tough times ahead, but I am up for anything!
As I climbed on the table I grasped my husbands hand and said a little prayer in my head. The moment the ultrasound began I knew, because there I saw it, our little smudge inside a yolk sac! The doctor turned up the volume and there was the heart beat at 121 beats per minute! A smudge with a heartbeat... and it is our smudge! It was amazing, I cried (of course!) and my husband grasped my hand and my head with a look of amazement... there was our baby! It still amazes me that something measuring under 7mm's can have a heartbeat!
Since that day it has all felt real, like it is okay to accept it, to get excited, and to look at baby names and talk about the future again. For the past month we have held our breath, worried, cried, and held it all in. But no longer. I know I am just 7 weeks, 3 days along but I can't help but be excited for the future, for our baby, for a new life!
We will return to the doctor next Monday for our 8 week check up and ultrasound. For now, all is well. I am finally getting my energy back, it has been a few tough weeks of going to bed at 7:30 and feeling too tired for anything other than work. I even took almost two complete weeks off of working out, as I had some morning sickness. But today, I returned to working out. I still am worried about running, so I speed walk and tomorrow I will lift weights. Our trainer has provided me with a new work out program, so that I don't have to do crunches or lay on my stomach (both of which make me nauseous!). My jeans are beginning to feel a bit tight, and when I run my hand over my belly I can feel a slight bump there, and I know that's our baby in there. I cry over just about anything from cheezy commercials to stories about mothers and their babies. But, so far, it has been a joy and pleasure carrying this baby. I know there are lots of challenges, changes, and maybe even tough times ahead, but I am up for anything!
10.18.2010
Signs of pregnancy
By the time you are all reading these posts about pregnancy I will be about 3 months or so along... as long as all goes well. I promised my mother in law that she would not have to find out I was pregnant by way of my blog... so after we visit in November for Thanksgiving and surprise her, I will post these blogs. And, even if the worst happens, I promise I will post these blogs, because women need to know, good or bad, what happens with pregnancy especially with PCOS and pregnancy! A very good friend of mine recommended that I journal about the pregnancy as I go along so that I can remember what happened along the way. I feel that my blog is my journal... albeit public for all to see, but still, this is my journal and how I express myself and track my life. So, I make this warning, I will be sharing everything, details that many may not want to read. But this is my journal, my documentation of pregnancy with PCOS, and my way of telling others that getting pregnant with PCOS is possible... and with any luck I will get to also show that you can have a healthy happy baby with PCOS.
So, those lovely signs of pregnancy! Well, your breasts will hurt like no one ever told you they would. They say they will be "tender".... hello! This is not tender... this is freakin' ouch! They say you can jog/run during pregnancy... well if you are an "A" cup or do not have this particular symptom, that that may be true... but for those of us over a "C"...there will be no running... at least not without at least 3 sports bras on!
Pain... yes, pain and cramping. Sometimes it feels like someone is stabbing you in the ovary...for about 2 seconds.. then it goes away. They call it "cramping" but this is no cramping like I have ever had. Some cramping, in certain places is normal in early pregnancy as areas of your body begin to stretch, in ways they never have before!
Nausea... yep, my first bout of morning sickness today. Luckily it never went past the nausea part... but it makes it impossible to go to the gym at 5 am when you just want to throw up and get the day over with.
Speaking of getting the day over with... I thought PCOS had shown me what tired was before... I am only just maybe 5 weeks along and I am Tired!! More tired than ever before. I laughed when I found out I was pregnant, because for two weeks straight I came home and fell asleep on the couch after work, just to get up and go right to bed. So, when I found out I was pregnant I thought... of course I have been sleeping almost non stop for 2 weeks!
Hormones... have you ever cried at just about every commercial you see on TV? The Kaiser commercials about babies, the Jason Mraz song about living without worry, or the Zale's commercial with the daughter and father at the breakfast table (I am practically crying just thinking of this one) ? But it is true, your hormones are all over the map. One second you are laughing the next second you are crying, and sometimes you are doing both at the same time.
My clothes are tight... yes, this a symptom... okay i admit it was a problem before I was pregnant... by seriously... I just bought new clothes a month ago, and already they are tight? Seriously? But, never fear... maternity world includes new fun clothes too! So, more shopping will be done by all! :)
Worry... yes, worry. I think it is a symptom of pregnancy which no one speaks of. It is why so many women wait until they are showing to start telling people around them. We all worry that at any time, this wonderful gift may be taken away from us. At first, when i found out, I said to my husband "I don't want anyone to know" and yet the same day I told my mom, how could I not...she is my mom. I have slipped up a few more times and started to tell other people here and there... we haven't told my husbands family because he wants to tell his mom in person before we tell anyone else in his family.. but anyway... I started to think about why I did this. Why say one minute I don't want any one to know, and the next second be telling people around me that I am in fact pregnant. Here is my thought/reasoning/excuse for my craziness. I am going to worry no matter what, for the next 9 months, and the rest of my life once this baby is born. But if people know now, even though i am so early on, there are that many more good wishes, prayers, and support for this baby out there in the universe already, and they have not even entered the world yet, What better way to start off your life than with the support, love, and excitement of all of those people who do not know you yet but love you and care about you anyway? So, share we will, so that our baby will be blessed with all of the love and care from the start and will start off life with excitement and happiness surrounding them, not from 3 months in utero, but from 4 weeks in utero!
So those are the symptoms as they stand so far. In all seriousness, because I am being flippant with many of these symptoms, I truly believe that each symptom is a part of earning the title of "mom" and that each one is a positive sign that the pregnancy is healthy and that it is well worth the reward of being a parent in the end. I would deal with "tender" breasts, stabbing pains, crying at the drop of a hat, and exhaustion, tight clothing, and worry for a lifetime if I get to have the honor of being a parent during this life time. Although I hear that many of those symptoms are not just for pregnancy, they last forever as you watch your child grow into an amazing adult. So here's hoping to a lifetime of pregnancy symptoms!
So, those lovely signs of pregnancy! Well, your breasts will hurt like no one ever told you they would. They say they will be "tender".... hello! This is not tender... this is freakin' ouch! They say you can jog/run during pregnancy... well if you are an "A" cup or do not have this particular symptom, that that may be true... but for those of us over a "C"...there will be no running... at least not without at least 3 sports bras on!
Pain... yes, pain and cramping. Sometimes it feels like someone is stabbing you in the ovary...for about 2 seconds.. then it goes away. They call it "cramping" but this is no cramping like I have ever had. Some cramping, in certain places is normal in early pregnancy as areas of your body begin to stretch, in ways they never have before!
Nausea... yep, my first bout of morning sickness today. Luckily it never went past the nausea part... but it makes it impossible to go to the gym at 5 am when you just want to throw up and get the day over with.
Speaking of getting the day over with... I thought PCOS had shown me what tired was before... I am only just maybe 5 weeks along and I am Tired!! More tired than ever before. I laughed when I found out I was pregnant, because for two weeks straight I came home and fell asleep on the couch after work, just to get up and go right to bed. So, when I found out I was pregnant I thought... of course I have been sleeping almost non stop for 2 weeks!
Hormones... have you ever cried at just about every commercial you see on TV? The Kaiser commercials about babies, the Jason Mraz song about living without worry, or the Zale's commercial with the daughter and father at the breakfast table (I am practically crying just thinking of this one) ? But it is true, your hormones are all over the map. One second you are laughing the next second you are crying, and sometimes you are doing both at the same time.
My clothes are tight... yes, this a symptom... okay i admit it was a problem before I was pregnant... by seriously... I just bought new clothes a month ago, and already they are tight? Seriously? But, never fear... maternity world includes new fun clothes too! So, more shopping will be done by all! :)
Worry... yes, worry. I think it is a symptom of pregnancy which no one speaks of. It is why so many women wait until they are showing to start telling people around them. We all worry that at any time, this wonderful gift may be taken away from us. At first, when i found out, I said to my husband "I don't want anyone to know" and yet the same day I told my mom, how could I not...she is my mom. I have slipped up a few more times and started to tell other people here and there... we haven't told my husbands family because he wants to tell his mom in person before we tell anyone else in his family.. but anyway... I started to think about why I did this. Why say one minute I don't want any one to know, and the next second be telling people around me that I am in fact pregnant. Here is my thought/reasoning/excuse for my craziness. I am going to worry no matter what, for the next 9 months, and the rest of my life once this baby is born. But if people know now, even though i am so early on, there are that many more good wishes, prayers, and support for this baby out there in the universe already, and they have not even entered the world yet, What better way to start off your life than with the support, love, and excitement of all of those people who do not know you yet but love you and care about you anyway? So, share we will, so that our baby will be blessed with all of the love and care from the start and will start off life with excitement and happiness surrounding them, not from 3 months in utero, but from 4 weeks in utero!
So those are the symptoms as they stand so far. In all seriousness, because I am being flippant with many of these symptoms, I truly believe that each symptom is a part of earning the title of "mom" and that each one is a positive sign that the pregnancy is healthy and that it is well worth the reward of being a parent in the end. I would deal with "tender" breasts, stabbing pains, crying at the drop of a hat, and exhaustion, tight clothing, and worry for a lifetime if I get to have the honor of being a parent during this life time. Although I hear that many of those symptoms are not just for pregnancy, they last forever as you watch your child grow into an amazing adult. So here's hoping to a lifetime of pregnancy symptoms!
Breakfast, paperwork, and two pink lines
It was two weeks ago tomorrow that I was working from home on some paperwork and thought, there are three pregnancy tests in the cabinet and I feel like I should use one. So, at 11 am that day a pregnancy test was completed and one dark pink line appeared....along with a super faint pink line... yep, two pink lines. I figured I was seeing things, it was that faint. So the next morning at 5am, on my way to the gym, I took another test, and sure enough, there it was... or should I say "they were". Two pink lines... a positive pregnancy test... or rather two. That afternoon I made a stop at my GYN, who ran two more tests... one negative, the other looked just like my first... one dark line and another very faint line. I was promptly sent for blood work which came back with an HcG level of 39. If you are new to pregnancy terms, HcG is produced in your blood only when you are pregnant, you never have it at any other time of your life. I was told congratulations and that I had to go for another test in 48 hours, to make sure the HcG levels were rising. So, 48 hours later I was at the lab again, blood being drawn from my other arm and then the wait began. Because it was Friday, the test did not come back before the Dr. closed for the day. I spent the entire weekend in agony, of the emotional type. You see, HcG levels, when you are pregnant are supposed to double every 48 hours... so for me, they were looking for somewhere around 80... if your levels are not doubling there is a problem with the pregnancy and it is likely not viable. Let's just say, this led to the longest, most difficult weekend of my life so far. Waiting to find out if you are pregnant or pregnant and miscarrying is a terrible way to spend two days. Monday morning, first thing, my MD called with good news, an HcG level of 89 and a big "hooray!" was heard around the world.
I wish I could say the craziness ended there. But panic and a few more horrible days (about 7 days in fact) ensued. Since my GYN is not an OB as well, I had to find a new doctor. Luckily I found one, I think he is pretty great so far, and made an appointment for the soonest possible. The next Wednesday, one week from our initial double lined excitement, my husband and I found ourselves sitting in the OB office waiting to see the doctor. This was the appointment that caused even more panic than before. While there, the MD's office aged my pregnancy at 6 weeks. "Great!" we were told an ultrasound would potentially show a heart beat, and the yolk sac, but as I lay on the ultrasound table, my husband excitedly holding my hand, the doctor scanned around, yet nothing showed up. The doctor quickly revealed his concern, stating "it isn't a good sign that we can't see anything at 6 weeks." we left the doctor's office, back to the lab for yet another HcG test, I cried... for about the 20th time. Is it hormones, fear, sadness, or just plain anger at my body for continually making everything difficult? I think probably a combination of everything.
That afternoon the doctor called me... actually he called within an hour. My HcG was at 775... it had doubled each day since the last test. The pregnancy was fine and I was "just earlier than originally thought." I guess this is where I have to caution women with PCOS. For some reason, almost all doctors, even ones who seem to know a lot about PCOS, seem to forget that we do not ovulate like every other "normal" woman. The fact is, all women, with PCOS or not, ovulate at different times. Yet, when they calculate your due date and date of conception, they go from the first day of your last period. So even if you did not ovulate during the second week... guess what... they pretend you did! It turns out... I was probably more like 4 or 4 1/2 weeks along... not 6 weeks! So, my HcG levels were exactly correct AND since you cannot see anything on an ultrasound until HcG levels are At Least 1500, it was no surprise there was nothing on the ultrasound, because mine were in the 700's! By the way, they also tested my progesterone, which was 18... which is on the low side of normal for pregnant women. Two days later, another test revealed an HcG of 1380... almost double, and perfectly acceptable for a viable pregnancy.
Getting pregnant, being pregnant, and having a baby are all scary enough as it is. But I have to say, the past two weeks were some of the most difficult days of my life. I felt like I had been on a roller coaster, stuck at the top, and waiting to drop. It is reported that women with PCOS may have up to 50% chance of miscarriage. Each doctor has told us that miscarriage is never caused by anything you do. If it does not last, it was not a viable life, and that miscarriage is the body's natural way to end that life before it get's worse. But, even knowing that, I keep saying to the baby "just stay inside where you belong" because the best thing that could ever happen would be to bring a baby into this world on in June 2011!
I wish I could say the craziness ended there. But panic and a few more horrible days (about 7 days in fact) ensued. Since my GYN is not an OB as well, I had to find a new doctor. Luckily I found one, I think he is pretty great so far, and made an appointment for the soonest possible. The next Wednesday, one week from our initial double lined excitement, my husband and I found ourselves sitting in the OB office waiting to see the doctor. This was the appointment that caused even more panic than before. While there, the MD's office aged my pregnancy at 6 weeks. "Great!" we were told an ultrasound would potentially show a heart beat, and the yolk sac, but as I lay on the ultrasound table, my husband excitedly holding my hand, the doctor scanned around, yet nothing showed up. The doctor quickly revealed his concern, stating "it isn't a good sign that we can't see anything at 6 weeks." we left the doctor's office, back to the lab for yet another HcG test, I cried... for about the 20th time. Is it hormones, fear, sadness, or just plain anger at my body for continually making everything difficult? I think probably a combination of everything.
That afternoon the doctor called me... actually he called within an hour. My HcG was at 775... it had doubled each day since the last test. The pregnancy was fine and I was "just earlier than originally thought." I guess this is where I have to caution women with PCOS. For some reason, almost all doctors, even ones who seem to know a lot about PCOS, seem to forget that we do not ovulate like every other "normal" woman. The fact is, all women, with PCOS or not, ovulate at different times. Yet, when they calculate your due date and date of conception, they go from the first day of your last period. So even if you did not ovulate during the second week... guess what... they pretend you did! It turns out... I was probably more like 4 or 4 1/2 weeks along... not 6 weeks! So, my HcG levels were exactly correct AND since you cannot see anything on an ultrasound until HcG levels are At Least 1500, it was no surprise there was nothing on the ultrasound, because mine were in the 700's! By the way, they also tested my progesterone, which was 18... which is on the low side of normal for pregnant women. Two days later, another test revealed an HcG of 1380... almost double, and perfectly acceptable for a viable pregnancy.
Getting pregnant, being pregnant, and having a baby are all scary enough as it is. But I have to say, the past two weeks were some of the most difficult days of my life. I felt like I had been on a roller coaster, stuck at the top, and waiting to drop. It is reported that women with PCOS may have up to 50% chance of miscarriage. Each doctor has told us that miscarriage is never caused by anything you do. If it does not last, it was not a viable life, and that miscarriage is the body's natural way to end that life before it get's worse. But, even knowing that, I keep saying to the baby "just stay inside where you belong" because the best thing that could ever happen would be to bring a baby into this world on in June 2011!
9.06.2010
Of Vacations, Cinnamon Rolls, and New Adventures
This weekend took us to Grand Junction Colorado, home of fruit orchards and wineries, relaxation, and no stress. Last week was an odd week. My moods were up and down, upside down, right side up, all over the place. My poor husband, I am sad to say, was at the attack end of the down sides. The week started with us getting back into the swing of getting up at 5am for our work outs. We began this a few weeks ago because evenings just were not working out and our trainer recommended that we try this instead. It works great and gives us lots of time in the evenings to relax and enjoy our time together, but boy is it difficult to get out of bed at 5 am and walk to the gym! Weights mornings are the hardest, since I so hate the weight lifting! Also, I realized, after my up and down week, that I was frustrated. My husband has been losing weight, while mine has remained basically the same. My clothes even fit the same, no changes anywhere. So, last week, I started really watching what I ate, and I was feeling a difference... then we went away for the weekend.
I even started a new blog about my weekend adventures... it has to do with my love of cinnamon rolls... I know... it does not coincide with my "weight loss path"... at least at first glance. I want to note that I only indulge in cinnamon rolls when we vacation... they are the one sweet, bad for you, treat I will never give up. I will continue to indulge in them on vacation and occasionally through life. But, all people on their weight loss path have to have something they love that they allow them selves occasionally... I refuse to give up everything I love to eat.
Anyway... we were good about exercise while we were away. We worked out in the gym one day and hiked the next. We rested two days. I was proud that we were able to stay motivated enough to actually use a hotel gym! Good for us!
My final adventure to report, related to the PCOS world, and that I have been contemplating whether to share on my blog or not, is that I have been reading fertility websites and trying to learn as much as I can about PCOS and fertility. It is astounding how much information there is to know about something that seems to be so simple, or perhaps it seems that it Should be simple! So many people take such a scientific approach to fertility these days, and now I have joined the crowd. I have found a website called "fertility friends" to be particularly helpful and am taking a "course" in fertility. For women with fertility issues, if you have been told to "try on your own for awhile" this is a great place to learn how to "help yourself" along this confusing path.
Our path so far includes starting to track basal body temperature and a few other Body Signals on the fertility friends website. I find it encouraging and I am hopeful that we will find that we are on the right track soon!
I will continue to update the information I learn from this site.. but for now...it is off to bed for some good sleep before work begins again tomorrow!
Good night!
I even started a new blog about my weekend adventures... it has to do with my love of cinnamon rolls... I know... it does not coincide with my "weight loss path"... at least at first glance. I want to note that I only indulge in cinnamon rolls when we vacation... they are the one sweet, bad for you, treat I will never give up. I will continue to indulge in them on vacation and occasionally through life. But, all people on their weight loss path have to have something they love that they allow them selves occasionally... I refuse to give up everything I love to eat.
Anyway... we were good about exercise while we were away. We worked out in the gym one day and hiked the next. We rested two days. I was proud that we were able to stay motivated enough to actually use a hotel gym! Good for us!
My final adventure to report, related to the PCOS world, and that I have been contemplating whether to share on my blog or not, is that I have been reading fertility websites and trying to learn as much as I can about PCOS and fertility. It is astounding how much information there is to know about something that seems to be so simple, or perhaps it seems that it Should be simple! So many people take such a scientific approach to fertility these days, and now I have joined the crowd. I have found a website called "fertility friends" to be particularly helpful and am taking a "course" in fertility. For women with fertility issues, if you have been told to "try on your own for awhile" this is a great place to learn how to "help yourself" along this confusing path.
Our path so far includes starting to track basal body temperature and a few other Body Signals on the fertility friends website. I find it encouraging and I am hopeful that we will find that we are on the right track soon!
I will continue to update the information I learn from this site.. but for now...it is off to bed for some good sleep before work begins again tomorrow!
Good night!
8.17.2010
Welcome back to Sinus Infection Land....
Yep, Saturday morning it struck again. Sinus infection #1 for the fall season. Argh! I am so frustrated. I felt it come on last week, my energy crashed on Wednesday, I did not feel like working out after I got home and I was just so tired the rest of the week. Then Saturday, wham. Sore throat first thing in the AM, stayed on the couch all day to see if I could ward it off by resting. Sunday, started feeling worse, stayed on the couch all day again for more resting and pushed fluids all day. Monday, I actually went to work... I did! I had to, I had 11 hours worth of work to do, so I worked. Tuesday, today, I gave in. I stayed home from work. I do not want to get into this sickness pattern again that I have been in for the past few years. I just want to be healthy. So, off to the doctor, not until this evening... why is it that you can call the MD office right when they open, yet they cannot fit you in until the evening? Anyway, I am feeling too sick to rant. I just wanted to start off sinus infection season by letting the world know... sinus infection season has officially begun... I can't wait until Spring to arrive so I can be healthy again.
8.07.2010
Job Path, Health Path... Life
The first week of my new job is over and I find myself at home, at peace with the world. It is amazing how at peace with the world I feel. I have been reminded by a wise woman, my mother, that there will still be up and down times. Sure, this is to be expected, I am working for a broken system that is... broke, both monetarily and in concept. However, if you could have seen all of the smiling faces this week, you would not know how broken our public school system is. These people do not smile because they are making the most money, or will be living in the biggest house or driving the fanciest car. No, these people are smiling because every day they make a difference in a child's life through education, through life lessons. What an amazing thing. So, I hope when the tough days come, that I will think about this. That for the first time as an OT I can truly feel that I am making a difference in someone's life, each day through helping them to be more successful or more able to participate in their educational setting. And, I have hope that maybe this country will start to turn the educational system around and that we will all remember that there is no better investment than our children and their education (I learned this important lesson from my parents). I have hope, because this week I saw a not so broken system in my new school district, but instead, people committed to making the lives of children better.
Okay... enough about work...sorry it has been very exciting though.
I do want to address some PCOS this time too... because I tend to not talk about it enough, and that is what this blog is supposed to be about. Although truly, this blog is just about me and life, because usually PCOS affects every day of it. I guess I have not written much lately about it because it has not been first and foremost on my mind. Instead, my job and getting healthy have been on my mind the past week... and babies too. I can't help it. Just spending those 5 days with my best friend and her beautiful little girl... that was it... I was bit by the baby bug... or maybe spit up on by it! (ew... sorry!)
Anyway, my job did affect my PCOS this week, in that there was much free food, luncheons to attend, sweets at every table you sat down at. I fell out of the habit of tracking my calories, indulged in some yummy cinnamon rolls (4 or 5 of them!) and over ate in general. I also had two days without work outs, which was disappointing. And now, I have to admit that since hiring our trainer, and likely because we are not being steadfast in following his advice, I have actually gained 1.5 lbs instead of loosing them! My husband, of course, has lost almost 5 lbs and is looking fabulous... me... not so much. But today I pledged to get back on the wagon. We did not eat exactly healthy (hello Chick-fil-a), but we did get to the gym yesterday and today and took the puppy for a long stroll last night, in addition to strength training!
We are on our way... I am reminded that I named this blog "Path to Health" for a reason. Paths are rarely straight, you often take the wrong path and have to turn around and return to where you started. Most paths have hills, some are all uphill... but aren't those the ones with the best view from the top, the best reward? So, here I am, on my path. The past few weeks I went down the path, sat on a large rock in the shade and ate all of my snacks in one fell swoop. But, yesterday I got off the rock and started walking the path again (Okay, sure, with Chick-fil-a sandwich in hand). I am sure I will find I need to rest again sometime during the journey and that I may even chose the wrong path at times, but I also know that I will continue to get up and continue down this path. Because, this path is my life.
Okay... enough about work...sorry it has been very exciting though.
I do want to address some PCOS this time too... because I tend to not talk about it enough, and that is what this blog is supposed to be about. Although truly, this blog is just about me and life, because usually PCOS affects every day of it. I guess I have not written much lately about it because it has not been first and foremost on my mind. Instead, my job and getting healthy have been on my mind the past week... and babies too. I can't help it. Just spending those 5 days with my best friend and her beautiful little girl... that was it... I was bit by the baby bug... or maybe spit up on by it! (ew... sorry!)
Anyway, my job did affect my PCOS this week, in that there was much free food, luncheons to attend, sweets at every table you sat down at. I fell out of the habit of tracking my calories, indulged in some yummy cinnamon rolls (4 or 5 of them!) and over ate in general. I also had two days without work outs, which was disappointing. And now, I have to admit that since hiring our trainer, and likely because we are not being steadfast in following his advice, I have actually gained 1.5 lbs instead of loosing them! My husband, of course, has lost almost 5 lbs and is looking fabulous... me... not so much. But today I pledged to get back on the wagon. We did not eat exactly healthy (hello Chick-fil-a), but we did get to the gym yesterday and today and took the puppy for a long stroll last night, in addition to strength training!
We are on our way... I am reminded that I named this blog "Path to Health" for a reason. Paths are rarely straight, you often take the wrong path and have to turn around and return to where you started. Most paths have hills, some are all uphill... but aren't those the ones with the best view from the top, the best reward? So, here I am, on my path. The past few weeks I went down the path, sat on a large rock in the shade and ate all of my snacks in one fell swoop. But, yesterday I got off the rock and started walking the path again (Okay, sure, with Chick-fil-a sandwich in hand). I am sure I will find I need to rest again sometime during the journey and that I may even chose the wrong path at times, but I also know that I will continue to get up and continue down this path. Because, this path is my life.
8.06.2010
Let School Begin
I have been a bit absent from my blog the past week because I started my shiny new job! I have to tell you, I was worried when I started this job. I was not sure if it was going to be the right job for me or if I had made the right move. After this week though... I am SO excited for the students to come to school so that I can get to work! I do not think I have ever felt this way at the start of a job, excited and nervous and scared all at the same time.
Unfortunately, as far as following the diet and exercise goes, I have been bad. Orientation comes with lots of free food, eating out with new co-workers, and snacks up the wazoo! But, we have worked out most days, with just two days off... one because I was tired and yesterday because I had a headache all afternoon. We will return to weight lifting tonight, when I return from my one home health client I still have to see. So, although we occasionally fall off the wagon, we are getting better at getting back on within one day.
I am writing on my blog today my pledge for the next school year to come:
I will work hard and be a committed therapist for all of the students that cross my path. I will do my very best to help each student and will stay after or work extra when it is necessary. But, I will also remember to put the time and effort into my self and my family at home. I will commit to spend quality time with my husband and make time for us, where neither of us is talking about work. I will come home and let work go, leaving work at work, so that I can relax and enjoy my life. I will work to support my life, but I will not live to work.
Unfortunately, as far as following the diet and exercise goes, I have been bad. Orientation comes with lots of free food, eating out with new co-workers, and snacks up the wazoo! But, we have worked out most days, with just two days off... one because I was tired and yesterday because I had a headache all afternoon. We will return to weight lifting tonight, when I return from my one home health client I still have to see. So, although we occasionally fall off the wagon, we are getting better at getting back on within one day.
I am writing on my blog today my pledge for the next school year to come:
I will work hard and be a committed therapist for all of the students that cross my path. I will do my very best to help each student and will stay after or work extra when it is necessary. But, I will also remember to put the time and effort into my self and my family at home. I will commit to spend quality time with my husband and make time for us, where neither of us is talking about work. I will come home and let work go, leaving work at work, so that I can relax and enjoy my life. I will work to support my life, but I will not live to work.
7.31.2010
Pure Exhaustion
Yep, that is me, purely exhausted! I returned Wednesday from my wonderful trip with a wonderful friend and her beautiful new baby! What a fun time! Sadly, I fell off the wagon while I was away and did not track calories nor did I exercise more than 1 day... okay if you don't count the 2 long walks on other days. When I returned home I felt this incredible need to clean the whole apartment, so I did, for two days. I cleaned every nook and cranny in almost the whole place. We do not have a big apartment, so you can imagine how thorough I was being... or was I just being slow?
Anyway, today was the return to the personal trainer to get our butts kicked into gear again. If you are not familiar with PCOS than I should explain about exercise. Exercise is of the UTMOST importance when you have PCOS. The endocrinologist reminds me every six months that I should be participating in cardiovascular work at least days per week.
The reasoning is that the less fat you have on your body the more in balance your hormones are, therefore the more likely you are to ovulate and the less symptoms of the disorder you have (in theory). Fat, on the other hand, creates an increase in the production of hormones, which when you have PCOS you simply do not need. However, some (yes only some) Doctors agree that, much like diabetes, women with PCOS will become more tired when they exercise than those without PCOS. (I do not remember the exact reasoning, but I will look up this study and report back later).
So, today was exhausting for me. Brian really worked us hard with squats using a TX Fitness band and also using a big swiss ball filled with water to 8 lbs! Also, resistance work for the upper body, sit ups with the water filled swiss balls, and pull ups and balance exercises. I left feeling Amazing (yes with a capitol A!) but by this evening I was crashed out! It was like I could not get enough food in me to keep my energy up. Surprisingly when I finally let myself crash, at 6pm, I only slept for 1 hour before feeling much better.
So, here I am, tired, worn down, tired, exhausted... did I mention I am tired? My hope is that tomorrow I will get up and continue to make good decisions about what I eat and about movement.
My new job's orientation is all next week, I am very nervous and excited all at the same time! Wish me luck!?
Anyway, today was the return to the personal trainer to get our butts kicked into gear again. If you are not familiar with PCOS than I should explain about exercise. Exercise is of the UTMOST importance when you have PCOS. The endocrinologist reminds me every six months that I should be participating in cardiovascular work at least days per week.
The reasoning is that the less fat you have on your body the more in balance your hormones are, therefore the more likely you are to ovulate and the less symptoms of the disorder you have (in theory). Fat, on the other hand, creates an increase in the production of hormones, which when you have PCOS you simply do not need. However, some (yes only some) Doctors agree that, much like diabetes, women with PCOS will become more tired when they exercise than those without PCOS. (I do not remember the exact reasoning, but I will look up this study and report back later).
So, today was exhausting for me. Brian really worked us hard with squats using a TX Fitness band and also using a big swiss ball filled with water to 8 lbs! Also, resistance work for the upper body, sit ups with the water filled swiss balls, and pull ups and balance exercises. I left feeling Amazing (yes with a capitol A!) but by this evening I was crashed out! It was like I could not get enough food in me to keep my energy up. Surprisingly when I finally let myself crash, at 6pm, I only slept for 1 hour before feeling much better.
So, here I am, tired, worn down, tired, exhausted... did I mention I am tired? My hope is that tomorrow I will get up and continue to make good decisions about what I eat and about movement.
My new job's orientation is all next week, I am very nervous and excited all at the same time! Wish me luck!?
7.25.2010
Vacations, Exercise, and Babies
Does anyone really "work out" when they are on vacation? To me, vacations mean sleeping in late, taking long naps, and enjoying the company, scenery, and people around you... not running around the block for 30 minutes every morning. However, yesterday I did successfully complete my resistance band work out, designed by Mr. Personal Trainer. I worked up a slight sweat, and felt better about life. But, today I woke up, Cardio day, and I don't want to go for a run, so maybe I will grab a friend and go for a long walk instead... it counts... right?
I am in Sacramento for 5 days, visiting one of my best girlfriends, her hubby, and new born baby... well not new born, she is 3 months old today. My husband asks "So, you still want a baby?" my answer, "yeah!" I was even trusted to be the first babysitter last night for a few hours so the tired parents could get out and see a movie. Easy peasie, as some of my kiddos say! Okay, I give, she was sleeping the whole time, but still.... that part I know I could do! It is just amazing to spend so much time watching a little person grow and learn each day, it is so rewarding and awe inspiring. Yes, I get the long hours, the late nights, the sleepless nights, and I get that these things may last a life time. But look at what the result is, an amazing person that you have added to the world!
I am very excited for my friends and their baby! What a pleasure to get to see a family starting off and looking toward the future!
I am in Sacramento for 5 days, visiting one of my best girlfriends, her hubby, and new born baby... well not new born, she is 3 months old today. My husband asks "So, you still want a baby?" my answer, "yeah!" I was even trusted to be the first babysitter last night for a few hours so the tired parents could get out and see a movie. Easy peasie, as some of my kiddos say! Okay, I give, she was sleeping the whole time, but still.... that part I know I could do! It is just amazing to spend so much time watching a little person grow and learn each day, it is so rewarding and awe inspiring. Yes, I get the long hours, the late nights, the sleepless nights, and I get that these things may last a life time. But look at what the result is, an amazing person that you have added to the world!
I am very excited for my friends and their baby! What a pleasure to get to see a family starting off and looking toward the future!
7.20.2010
Lessons Learned
So... squats lead to sore quad muscles (thighs) which causes you to have a hard time walking like a normal person. This is a lesson I learned this week. Another lesson I learned is that if you move more, like on the elliptical for 30 minutes the next day, all of that awkwardness and soreness goes away. Hooray! It is a great cure... soreness cured with exercise!
Things are great this week! It is may last week in the clinic, which is sad and hard and happy all at the same time. I realized in the past few weeks how much I truly love this job and that it stinks to have to leave a job over lack of compensation. I have never felt sad to leave any of my past jobs... but this time it is different. I really love all of the kiddos who I have worked with. I have worked very hard to forge good, strong relationships with my clients and their families, and now I have to say goodbye. It is especially hard to leave the clients who followed me from home health over to the clinic, and now I am leaving them, yet again. It makes me sad and it makes for a tough couple of days. I imagine that if I were not calorie counting and working out that I would be home with a migraine, for all of the stress... but surprisingly... I feel AWESOME (except for the aching quads and the fact that I am walking like a tin soldier!).
Tomorrow will be a happy day. I get to spend the entire day with my mom, sister in law, and my adorable nephews... did I mention they are really cute and adorable? There are not words... Then Thursday, my final clinic day where I will say goodbye to a few of my kiddos who have been the biggest challenge and through that became some of my favorite to work with.
I guess another lesson learned: Sometimes the things you work hardest at are the most rewarding... nix that... lets say instead: The things you work hard at are always the most rewarding (eventually). So, I am working hard every day to become a better OT, to be a good wife and daughter and auntie and friend, and now I am working hard every day to counteract PCOS and fight for my health. In the end, what is more rewarding than that?
Things are great this week! It is may last week in the clinic, which is sad and hard and happy all at the same time. I realized in the past few weeks how much I truly love this job and that it stinks to have to leave a job over lack of compensation. I have never felt sad to leave any of my past jobs... but this time it is different. I really love all of the kiddos who I have worked with. I have worked very hard to forge good, strong relationships with my clients and their families, and now I have to say goodbye. It is especially hard to leave the clients who followed me from home health over to the clinic, and now I am leaving them, yet again. It makes me sad and it makes for a tough couple of days. I imagine that if I were not calorie counting and working out that I would be home with a migraine, for all of the stress... but surprisingly... I feel AWESOME (except for the aching quads and the fact that I am walking like a tin soldier!).
Tomorrow will be a happy day. I get to spend the entire day with my mom, sister in law, and my adorable nephews... did I mention they are really cute and adorable? There are not words... Then Thursday, my final clinic day where I will say goodbye to a few of my kiddos who have been the biggest challenge and through that became some of my favorite to work with.
I guess another lesson learned: Sometimes the things you work hardest at are the most rewarding... nix that... lets say instead: The things you work hard at are always the most rewarding (eventually). So, I am working hard every day to become a better OT, to be a good wife and daughter and auntie and friend, and now I am working hard every day to counteract PCOS and fight for my health. In the end, what is more rewarding than that?
7.17.2010
Let the Exercise begin....
A few weeks ago, during a therapy session, one of my kiddos told another therapist "I'm doin' squats with Ms. Rhonda." We were not in fact doing squats, but today I found myself doing exactly that. I remembered my pure dislike of weight training today... I know it will get easier and I am positive that as I get better at it I will begin to like it more. Our new trainer cooked up a really nice weight routine for me, and I can already tell it is a perfect balance for me... lots of upper body, a bit of core, not a lot of Lower body... because that is already stronger. I came back from the gym and felt like a little old lady, shuffling my way back from the gym. My husband returned a bit nauseated and light headed, as he tends to push himself a bit too hard at times. So, we shuffled back home and husband crashed on the couch, and I .... I had energy! I started the laundry, changed the sheets, showered, and had some lunch... and I still feel pretty good. So, I leave my first workout, knowing that tomorrow I may not be able to lift my arms for all of the soreness, but that I am again on another great track that will hopefully get me closer to health!
Tomorrow.... hello cardio workout!
Tomorrow.... hello cardio workout!
7.15.2010
Week Update
So, it is Thursday. I have one more week left at one of my jobs and have reduced my other down to 1 client per week. I am very excited. Next week it is off to California to visit my best friend and her new baby!
The past week has been full of new self discovery, for me and my husband, mostly thanks to tracking our calories. I think, for me, I was mostly aware of what this was going to take, thanks to my prior experience with Weight Watchers in the past few years. I was more prepared to have to plan my meals and weigh each morsel of food, down to the gram. But, I think my husband has been a bit more surprised. As it turns out, we have the same speed metabolism, so we are eating the same number of calories. For me, 1500 calories a day is A Lot! I rarely get all the way there, unless at a family event in which case I am in the 3000 calorie zone, but for my husband... well... let's just say he is often hungry!
I have already lost 1 lb this week, without even having exercise in the mix! So, I feel encouraged that once again we are on the right track... even more so because this time we are doing this together. I hope sometime soon to return to the naturopath to add in some eastern medicine to the mix, but for now my concentration is on doing what I can to prepare this body of mine for what is to come.
We met with our new personal trainer again today. He came to our apartment complex to see our gym and get an idea of what equipment we have so that he can design work out programs for us. He explained that each month he will re-test our metabolic rate and change our diet/ calorie intake and exercise accordingly. My husband was also reassured that he will get to "bulk up" and I was reassured that I would not (even with my high testosterone levels... thanks PCOS!)
My GI tract is also much more happy this past week and I have easily returned to the Metformin. It has been absolutely appalling to follow the news about Avandia, and I am so relieved I made the decision to get off of it as soon as possible!
Overall, a productive week. I have decided not to post my diet and calories, however I will tell you that the first few days I was over by about 300 and the past few I have been right on or a bit below 1500 calories. For now, we will just keep on keepin' on!
The past week has been full of new self discovery, for me and my husband, mostly thanks to tracking our calories. I think, for me, I was mostly aware of what this was going to take, thanks to my prior experience with Weight Watchers in the past few years. I was more prepared to have to plan my meals and weigh each morsel of food, down to the gram. But, I think my husband has been a bit more surprised. As it turns out, we have the same speed metabolism, so we are eating the same number of calories. For me, 1500 calories a day is A Lot! I rarely get all the way there, unless at a family event in which case I am in the 3000 calorie zone, but for my husband... well... let's just say he is often hungry!
I have already lost 1 lb this week, without even having exercise in the mix! So, I feel encouraged that once again we are on the right track... even more so because this time we are doing this together. I hope sometime soon to return to the naturopath to add in some eastern medicine to the mix, but for now my concentration is on doing what I can to prepare this body of mine for what is to come.
We met with our new personal trainer again today. He came to our apartment complex to see our gym and get an idea of what equipment we have so that he can design work out programs for us. He explained that each month he will re-test our metabolic rate and change our diet/ calorie intake and exercise accordingly. My husband was also reassured that he will get to "bulk up" and I was reassured that I would not (even with my high testosterone levels... thanks PCOS!)
My GI tract is also much more happy this past week and I have easily returned to the Metformin. It has been absolutely appalling to follow the news about Avandia, and I am so relieved I made the decision to get off of it as soon as possible!
Overall, a productive week. I have decided not to post my diet and calories, however I will tell you that the first few days I was over by about 300 and the past few I have been right on or a bit below 1500 calories. For now, we will just keep on keepin' on!
7.10.2010
Nice to meet you, Mr. Personal Trainer
Today we met Brian, our new personal trainer. I am quite excited at the prospect of having someone looking over us and guiding our diet and exercise for a while. Today was not a work out day, one of the main reasons I chose this trainer was that he does a full evaluation before ever working with you... awesome, and depressing/embarrassing! So, I thought I would share the embarrassment with all of you, as this blog is about honesty. So in the spirit of honesty, here we go.
My current weight is 152.6 lbs (okay I knew this because I weighed myself yesterday - I am 5'7" tall).
My percent of body fat is 28.8%. (this means I have 44 lbs of fat on me).
My resting Heart Rate is 68 beats per minute
There were other tests, but this is the overall summary and the easiest to put on a blog. So, the next question would be: What are the goals?
Goal weight is 131 lbs
Goal Body Fat % is less than 17.2%
Goal Resting Heart Rate is less than 64 BPM
So I need to lose about 21 lbs, decrease my BF% by about 11 percentage points, and lower my heart rate by 4 BPM.
Other concerns included:
Unequal strength between right and left side (I am VERY right dominant)
High waist to hip ratio
Poor flexibility in the low back and hamstrings.
So, the plan:
Change the diet to lower calories through keeping a food journal
Read and complete the book 100 Days of Weight Loss (For those of us who eat emotionally)
See the trainer again on Thursday to start the work out schedule!
I started the book today and bought my notebook for my food diary (I will also start trying to post what I am eating to keep me honest) and to complete my journal assignments from 100 Days.
I am super excited that Husband and I are doing this together (of course he is in much better shape than I...but he doesn't have PCOS!). I think it will be great to get healthy together, learn to support and encourage each other on the path to health, and to begin to create a healthy lifestyle for our children to be born into! Here's to change and improvement and the path to health!
My current weight is 152.6 lbs (okay I knew this because I weighed myself yesterday - I am 5'7" tall).
My percent of body fat is 28.8%. (this means I have 44 lbs of fat on me).
My resting Heart Rate is 68 beats per minute
There were other tests, but this is the overall summary and the easiest to put on a blog. So, the next question would be: What are the goals?
Goal weight is 131 lbs
Goal Body Fat % is less than 17.2%
Goal Resting Heart Rate is less than 64 BPM
So I need to lose about 21 lbs, decrease my BF% by about 11 percentage points, and lower my heart rate by 4 BPM.
Other concerns included:
Unequal strength between right and left side (I am VERY right dominant)
High waist to hip ratio
Poor flexibility in the low back and hamstrings.
So, the plan:
Change the diet to lower calories through keeping a food journal
Read and complete the book 100 Days of Weight Loss (For those of us who eat emotionally)
See the trainer again on Thursday to start the work out schedule!
I started the book today and bought my notebook for my food diary (I will also start trying to post what I am eating to keep me honest) and to complete my journal assignments from 100 Days.
I am super excited that Husband and I are doing this together (of course he is in much better shape than I...but he doesn't have PCOS!). I think it will be great to get healthy together, learn to support and encourage each other on the path to health, and to begin to create a healthy lifestyle for our children to be born into! Here's to change and improvement and the path to health!
NPR Reports on Avandia
My amazing husband yet again discovered another interesting NPR story, good thing he listens to NPR in the morning on his way to work! It looks like the FDA has made a strong link between heart problems and Avandia. Just a concern for women with PCOS who may be using AvandaMet for treatment! 1 in every 60 now is being reported to have an increased risk of heart failure and death!
Check out the story!
NPR Reports on Avandia
Check out the story!
NPR Reports on Avandia
7.09.2010
Look Upon the Future, Not the Past
It is a normal human function that we often look upon the past, revisit memories, think of people and places you once knew. Sometimes it happens unconsciously like in a dream. Often a place you visit reminds you of who you once were. I had a morning of past memories and I began to realize how different I am from who I was 10 years ago. Sure, 10 years ago I was graduating high school (okay I just aged myself), but I am so completely different than I was then. What I found amazing this morning was the realization that I have found a person to share my life with that I can grow and change with, and we still find love with each other each day. Should I post a warning now that this could be a mushy blog post? It may just be. As I was thinking back today on the person I used to be, just graduating high school, trying to be too cool for school and everyone else in my life, I am surprised at how much I was not... well... not me. Does that make sense? I had no idea at that time who i really was, what I really thought, or what I really wanted in life. It was not until a few years later that I traveled away and got to know myself, over the course of a 10 week internship in Indiana. I have a few friends still left from high school and before, however, most of my very best friends I have found since that internship. When I returned from Indiana I met my now husband about 2 months later and we have been together ever since. I woke up this morning, my husband already gone to work, and I missed him ... a lot. He knows who I am and he loves me, despite all of my defects! As I look back I forget who I was back then, I do not recognize the girl that I once was. But, as I sit here in our living room thinking of the present and the past 7 years of my life, I know exactly who I am at this exact point in time.
7.07.2010
Metformin is making me ill!
I woke up again yesterday and today feeling pretty terrible. I am either doubled over in pain from cramps or nauseated beyond belief. I think the nausea is thanks to the Metformin. As my very smart husband pointed out, I did not ease back into the 2500 Mg dose... I jumped right back on it. So, I have a mad GI tract now. Just to top it off, I drove to the far away office today to fill in for another therapist who is on vacation and have been here since 9:00 am and have seen 1 client... it is 1:30 now and I have two clients who are supposed to come for the last two hours of the day. I am a little mad, just because I could be home being sick, watching movies, and cuddling with my nice warm heating pad. But instead I am sitting in the treatment room, writing my blog! What a waste of time...unpaid time.
I am very excited however. I am done with my "old jobs" in two weeks from tomorrow! Then I am off to sunny CA for a whole 5 days to meet up with my Northern CA girls and meet my new "niece"! I can't wait. I am in need of a vacation SO badly. Then when I return it is off to my new job. I can't wait to start working with the schools. It is a whole new learning opportunity, which I hope will be both educational and fun. Anyway, if you are reading this, thank you for sharing some of my unpaid time with me. I have really enjoyed it.... but I would still rather be home and asleep on the couch! :)
I am very excited however. I am done with my "old jobs" in two weeks from tomorrow! Then I am off to sunny CA for a whole 5 days to meet up with my Northern CA girls and meet my new "niece"! I can't wait. I am in need of a vacation SO badly. Then when I return it is off to my new job. I can't wait to start working with the schools. It is a whole new learning opportunity, which I hope will be both educational and fun. Anyway, if you are reading this, thank you for sharing some of my unpaid time with me. I have really enjoyed it.... but I would still rather be home and asleep on the couch! :)
7.05.2010
Migraines: Revenge of the PCOS
Happy Monday... or so I had hoped it would be. Unfortunately I woke up with a migraine and cramps. Oh happy day, or not. After canceling all of my clients,who probably think I was out partying and caused myself a hangover (this is not true, we were in bed by 10pm after watching fire works on TV because it was raining outside, and no drinking occurred yesterday), I downed a few yummy bread rolls and a sweet yellow peach followed by two extra strength Excedrin and returned to bed with heating pad in tow. I promptly pulled the covers over my head and commenced sleeping for two hours. It is now almost noon. My migraine has been downgraded from code red to code yellow, like an airport security warning, from migraine to a simple headache, but the pain of cramps remains strong. You may have guessed by now, if you did not pick up the cues from my sarcastic and angry post a few days ago (That is called blogging with PMS...luckily I don't think it is illegal...if my friends lived closer by they may have stopped me from posting... friends don't let friends blog with PMS!), I am in fact experiencing that lovely time of the month. With PCOS getting your period is an honest love hate relationship, especially when you are, as the doctors say, "at child bearing age." You are relieved because 1) you are regulating hormones (hooray!)otherwise you would not be having a period, and 2) you MAY have a slight chance that you are ovulating which means you really are (possibly) regulating hormones correctly. The flip side of the coin, at least for me, is that (mostly because I am not being healthy right now nor am I exercising and eating healthy) 1)Migraines ensue along with the start of the period and at times in the past have continued up to 12 days, along with said period. And 2) cramps, lovely cramps, which in my case are usually so severe that I end up bed ridden with a heating pad and living on either Excedrin or Midol. So you see now how this is an exciting yet horrific time in a woman's life, especially with PCOS.
So, here I am, spending the day in bed, I thought I would just share my thoughts with you. My wonderful husband is home today, as he was not supposed to work (it's a holiday at his job). I am hopeful he had no other plans for his day off, because now his PMS, PCOS, Migrained Crampy wife is laying in bed trying to not be too mean or pathetic!
Saturday we meet with our new personal trainer. Hopefully we will both find him acceptable and amicable. I will let you know. I just hope a little exercise leads to a lot of weight loss and a lot of hormonal regulation, so that this can become a little less of a love hate relationship.
So, here I am, spending the day in bed, I thought I would just share my thoughts with you. My wonderful husband is home today, as he was not supposed to work (it's a holiday at his job). I am hopeful he had no other plans for his day off, because now his PMS, PCOS, Migrained Crampy wife is laying in bed trying to not be too mean or pathetic!
Saturday we meet with our new personal trainer. Hopefully we will both find him acceptable and amicable. I will let you know. I just hope a little exercise leads to a lot of weight loss and a lot of hormonal regulation, so that this can become a little less of a love hate relationship.
7.04.2010
Back to the Met!
Happy 4th of July everyone! Since I began this blog, I have gone back and forth with my health, tried a few new things, and I find myself feeling frustrated... or is that just the hormonal imbalance of PCOS? Maybe a bit of both.
As you know, I have been on the Avandamet for the past month. I have not been too pleased with how I was feeling on it. I have been very tired, my arms started falling asleep at night, I have woken up a few nights with my heart racing. And then, as you see from my last posting, I heard about the latest studies on Avandia (AvandaMet is 1/2 Avandia and 1/2 Metformin). Basically the medical community is feeling that Avandia is not safe and that 1 in 30 people using it will have a heart attack. So, I called my endocrinologist. Now, let me say, I think I have one of the best Endocrinologists in the country. However, I was informed that they wanted me to stay on the Avandamet and "give it more time" because these are not "normal side effects" of the Avandamet that I was reporting. It is funny though. I made up my own mind and went back to Metformin... and I feel SO much better in the past 3 days. My intestines are a bit unhappy, but I remember that from when I first started the Metformin and it passes.
The most exciting change that is coming soon is that I finally got my husband to agree to hire a personal trainer for a couple times per month. I am hopeful this will be the motivation I have been needing to kick my butt into gear and get me losing weight. I am really convinced that if I can add in exercise and start to make healthier choices, with the guidance of a professional, that I will be able to get back to where I was 3 years ago when i was living in California. Also, I feel that my health needs to be a number one priority right now as we start to get closer to starting our family!
Have a happy and safe 4th of July everyone!
As you know, I have been on the Avandamet for the past month. I have not been too pleased with how I was feeling on it. I have been very tired, my arms started falling asleep at night, I have woken up a few nights with my heart racing. And then, as you see from my last posting, I heard about the latest studies on Avandia (AvandaMet is 1/2 Avandia and 1/2 Metformin). Basically the medical community is feeling that Avandia is not safe and that 1 in 30 people using it will have a heart attack. So, I called my endocrinologist. Now, let me say, I think I have one of the best Endocrinologists in the country. However, I was informed that they wanted me to stay on the Avandamet and "give it more time" because these are not "normal side effects" of the Avandamet that I was reporting. It is funny though. I made up my own mind and went back to Metformin... and I feel SO much better in the past 3 days. My intestines are a bit unhappy, but I remember that from when I first started the Metformin and it passes.
The most exciting change that is coming soon is that I finally got my husband to agree to hire a personal trainer for a couple times per month. I am hopeful this will be the motivation I have been needing to kick my butt into gear and get me losing weight. I am really convinced that if I can add in exercise and start to make healthier choices, with the guidance of a professional, that I will be able to get back to where I was 3 years ago when i was living in California. Also, I feel that my health needs to be a number one priority right now as we start to get closer to starting our family!
Have a happy and safe 4th of July everyone!
6.28.2010
Avandia - More warnings
This was on the news this evening... I think I will be going back to Metformin... I think I would rather do BCP than risk death!
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31727_162-20009089-10391695.html
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31727_162-20009089-10391695.html
What kind of female are you?
Have you ever spoken to a group of males before as the only female in the room? I recently spent the evening with my husband and a male friend of his, along with a roommate of this friend. I heard a lot of interesting stories, as my husband and his friend have known each other for a long time. Some stories you kind of think "huh that is interesting" and others... well, others I just plain did not want to hear. Now, I know I am not a "guys girl." I love my girlfriends and hanging out with them (although they all live so far away!). I also know that when we hang out we do not spend entire evenings comparing our past conquests or men that we once dated. We have better stuff to talk about! One of the things I heard a lot about, while surrounded by men last weekend, was women, other women, past women in their lives (ding ding... one of the things I did not want to hear about). I heard a lot of, "she was the hottest girl I ever dated," and "she had legs up to here, she was amazing." Notice I did not hear "she was so beautiful and intelligent. I could talk to her all night long." I also heard a lot of "you know, she was 'that kind of girl.'" After a full evening of this I began to wonder... what the heck is "that kind of girl?" and where the heck are the "women" in these men's lives?
There is something about men in their 30's, some females get to be called "women" and some are still "girls." Webster's dictionary states that a "girl is a term for a female between birth and adulthood" while a "woman is an adult female". For men, it does not seem to be an age barrier, but I cannot figure out where the line falls. I was recently informed that I still fall in the "girl" category. I find it baffling. I have supported myself and husband for 2 1/2 years now, kept a roof over our heads, paid hefty school loan payments along with all of our living expenses, worked 30-40 hours per week in an emotionally draining career, all while dealing with migraines, massive PMS, hair growth, weight gain, and everything else that comes with being a female and having PCOS. Yet I am still a "girl." What is "that type" that gets to be called a "woman?" I assume they have long legs, stylish hair, and wear a size 2 skirt suite to work every day with high heels. I, on the other hand, wear pants and tops (neither size 2!) with my comfy shoes, because I work around kids with disabilities, and ya know, a nice skirt suite just does not work when you are helping someone learn play skills. My next question begs, what type of respect and behavior does a "woman" get verses those of us who remain "girls," although we are old enough to be someone's mother?
As I sat and listened to the stories of the past I began to wonder, would these stories be told in front of just any female, or is it the fact that I am still considered a "girl" that I am subjected to such ridiculousness? If I was a "woman" would men be trying to "appear" well behaved, would there be attempts to "impress," or at least not so demeaning toward women.
I am old enough to have had good and bad relationships with men... maybe I should call them boys.... I have made relationship mistakes and dated "boys" who made ridiculous comments and remarks about other women while I was standing right there (not my husband, he doesn't do this). In the end, I am tired... I will never be what the magazines and media tell you that a "woman" is supposed to be. But, I am indeed a woman. After my experience this past weekend I was mad at these men, who are a big part of my life, because they do not see me as a woman. Then I pondered why I was so mad. Finally, today, I had a realization. I don't care if they think I am a woman, the fact is and the proof shows, I am in fact a woman, not a girl. Probably more so than some of those "women" and "girls" they spoke of to me. I am a strong women, who has weaknesses sometimes and needs her family and friends and support. But, I know who I am and I do not have any fantasies that I will become anyone else, this is me, for life. I will never look like a model, and maybe they don't think I am beautiful on the outside (like the girl who was beautiful because of her long legs and apparent stripper like tendencies), but I have a brain and a body and a life helping others. If that does not make a beautiful woman than I don't know what the heck the definition of woman is.
There is something about men in their 30's, some females get to be called "women" and some are still "girls." Webster's dictionary states that a "girl is a term for a female between birth and adulthood" while a "woman is an adult female". For men, it does not seem to be an age barrier, but I cannot figure out where the line falls. I was recently informed that I still fall in the "girl" category. I find it baffling. I have supported myself and husband for 2 1/2 years now, kept a roof over our heads, paid hefty school loan payments along with all of our living expenses, worked 30-40 hours per week in an emotionally draining career, all while dealing with migraines, massive PMS, hair growth, weight gain, and everything else that comes with being a female and having PCOS. Yet I am still a "girl." What is "that type" that gets to be called a "woman?" I assume they have long legs, stylish hair, and wear a size 2 skirt suite to work every day with high heels. I, on the other hand, wear pants and tops (neither size 2!) with my comfy shoes, because I work around kids with disabilities, and ya know, a nice skirt suite just does not work when you are helping someone learn play skills. My next question begs, what type of respect and behavior does a "woman" get verses those of us who remain "girls," although we are old enough to be someone's mother?
As I sat and listened to the stories of the past I began to wonder, would these stories be told in front of just any female, or is it the fact that I am still considered a "girl" that I am subjected to such ridiculousness? If I was a "woman" would men be trying to "appear" well behaved, would there be attempts to "impress," or at least not so demeaning toward women.
I am old enough to have had good and bad relationships with men... maybe I should call them boys.... I have made relationship mistakes and dated "boys" who made ridiculous comments and remarks about other women while I was standing right there (not my husband, he doesn't do this). In the end, I am tired... I will never be what the magazines and media tell you that a "woman" is supposed to be. But, I am indeed a woman. After my experience this past weekend I was mad at these men, who are a big part of my life, because they do not see me as a woman. Then I pondered why I was so mad. Finally, today, I had a realization. I don't care if they think I am a woman, the fact is and the proof shows, I am in fact a woman, not a girl. Probably more so than some of those "women" and "girls" they spoke of to me. I am a strong women, who has weaknesses sometimes and needs her family and friends and support. But, I know who I am and I do not have any fantasies that I will become anyone else, this is me, for life. I will never look like a model, and maybe they don't think I am beautiful on the outside (like the girl who was beautiful because of her long legs and apparent stripper like tendencies), but I have a brain and a body and a life helping others. If that does not make a beautiful woman than I don't know what the heck the definition of woman is.
6.22.2010
I got an award!
Thank you Shae for this award! I am super excited!
So in order to participate I must do the following:
Name 10 Things you love
1) My Husband for all of his love and support and for putting up with me when I am
at my worst!
2) My Parents who have loved and supported me all of my life.
3) My friends, my true friends who listen and support me, whether they live near
or far.
4) Home - this includes all of my homes. I love the warm fuzzy feeling of knowing
you are home and safe.
5) My Nephews! Because they always remind me what is really important in life and
have taught me to be patient.
6) My work - not always my job, but I do love the work I do and that I help others
to improve their lives.
7) Horses - Although I don't get to ride much right now... it will always be my
love.
8) Traveling and New Places: Another thing I do not do enough of!
9) Sleep and Naps!!
10) Me - I know this sounds selfish and stupid but it has taken me a while to love myself for who I am and not always put myself down, so this deserves to be #10 on the list!
And now to pass this Award on to other bloggers that I love! Here are 10 Blogs that I love and enjoy and would like to give this award to!
Tai Chi With Me
Journeys of a Rainbow Spork
Got Love, Been Married, now where the hell's the baby carriage
Horse OT
Serendipitous
You are what you eat!
Pub Rants
PCOS... A True Story
Hippotherapy in Sudan
Front Range Hippotherapy
6.14.2010
Weekend Update
Things are going well. I have been on the Avandia for 2 1/2 weeks now and I am feeling pretty good. The Progesterone worked well, and I had a good length period this time. Hooray, it actually stopped on it's own too! I have noticed some changes in things like hair growth (not as dark and it does not grow back as quickly). But I must admit that the potential side effects of the Avandia do bother me quite a bit. My Pre-Avandia blood tests were a bit shocking this time from the Endo. Cholosterol is better than it was last time (165) which is good for me, but my testosterone shot up to 107... I was previously down to 80! So, who knows what happened in the past 9 months to cause all of this... weight gain and no exercise anyone? I am hoping that this will lead to by body beginning to regulate itself better and independently working as it is supposed to work. Additionally, my husband and I will begin working out once our work schedules are back to not crazy again, which of course is the number one way to assist PCOS meds in working.
Speaking of work.. :) I feel I have had this enormous weight lifted off of my shoulders. I am becoming more and more excited about my new job, which will be in schools and starts in August. I can't wait to be in a different setting and a little more in control of my schedule and my life. My hubby started his new job today. It will be so nice to have us both working and having fairly normal schedules now. We may actually have some time together, now that we won't be arriving home past 7pm every night! Very Exciting. We have also begin to discuss "the topic" a lot... yes babies. It is crazy to think that we are getting closer to that time, but it sounds like it will be soon that we will try to start our family. I am so excited to be a mom, it is truly the one thing that I want most in life, next to being married to my husband (but I already have that!)... A horse or two would be nice to... but I can live without for now. Of course the PCOS worries me, but we have decided not to put pressure on anything yet and see what happens. All of you out there with PCOS will probably get this, but I don't want to put pressure on it at first... it will not be "we are trying to have a baby and it is SO stressful!" I am afraid if we do that it will never happen (I am enough of a worrier without having that to stress about too). So yes, I will post it on the blog, when it happens... or maybe three months after it happens. But at this point I am going to keep a positive outlook and think "when it happens" ... there will be no "if's" in my vocabulary for now!
Speaking of work.. :) I feel I have had this enormous weight lifted off of my shoulders. I am becoming more and more excited about my new job, which will be in schools and starts in August. I can't wait to be in a different setting and a little more in control of my schedule and my life. My hubby started his new job today. It will be so nice to have us both working and having fairly normal schedules now. We may actually have some time together, now that we won't be arriving home past 7pm every night! Very Exciting. We have also begin to discuss "the topic" a lot... yes babies. It is crazy to think that we are getting closer to that time, but it sounds like it will be soon that we will try to start our family. I am so excited to be a mom, it is truly the one thing that I want most in life, next to being married to my husband (but I already have that!)... A horse or two would be nice to... but I can live without for now. Of course the PCOS worries me, but we have decided not to put pressure on anything yet and see what happens. All of you out there with PCOS will probably get this, but I don't want to put pressure on it at first... it will not be "we are trying to have a baby and it is SO stressful!" I am afraid if we do that it will never happen (I am enough of a worrier without having that to stress about too). So yes, I will post it on the blog, when it happens... or maybe three months after it happens. But at this point I am going to keep a positive outlook and think "when it happens" ... there will be no "if's" in my vocabulary for now!
6.02.2010
I Quit!
I did, I quit both of my jobs today. My final day will be July 23rd. Yes, my third time quitting jobs in 2 years. But a better offer came along today and I am pretty excited about it. Just wanted to share. I am sure I have pissed off some people who I care about by doing this, but hey, you must follow your heart and I am young and ready to learn new things!! One thought came to me about this today. If I was a man, would people clap me on the back and say "good choice"? As women are we expected to "stick with things" even when it is not financially or personally fulfilling our needs, more so than men? How does this fit with how women take care of themselves?
Women are less likely then men to go in and ask for a raise, to ask for change when we think things are not going right. In the past I have always left jobs because I felt there was something ethical that I could not go along with, this time it was simply a good move for me and my family. I am excited to have summers off, to have time to spend with my family, and time to start our own family too!!
Hooray!!
Someday soon - My own therapy clinic! :)
Women are less likely then men to go in and ask for a raise, to ask for change when we think things are not going right. In the past I have always left jobs because I felt there was something ethical that I could not go along with, this time it was simply a good move for me and my family. I am excited to have summers off, to have time to spend with my family, and time to start our own family too!!
Hooray!!
Someday soon - My own therapy clinic! :)
5.31.2010
PCOS is making me crazy!!
Two months. That is the length of time between my last period and today. As you will recall, last time it actually paid me a visit it was the relative that was supposed to stay a week and ended up staying for 3 months. Now, it stays away, making no visits at all. I started to have all of the signs last weekend, but nothing happened. Then, Monday, hello Migraine!! Two days of not being able to work because I could not drive let alone handle being in light or wear my contacts, and still no period. So, Tuesday brought a visit to the GYN to explore BCP to manage the hormone levels and regulate the monthly periods, in hopes of preventing the migraines. The GYN placed me on my favorite, Progesterone, so my poor husband has been exposed to my less appealing attitude the last few days. 10 Days on Progesterone was supposed to be followed by the start of 1) a period and 2)LoestraFE the BCP, however, the period is dragging its feet and a Friday visit to the Endocrinologist has also changed the plans.
Friday I took a visit to my wonderful Endo's office (I am serious, they are wonderful), accompanied by my wonderful husband because I have to fast for blood work. Anyway, the RN did not fully agree with the GYN about starting the BCP (that was a lot of abbreviations... sorry), mostly because 1) we plan to start trying to get pregnant in the next year and 2) it is clear the Metformin is keeping my levels in the right place but that it is not preventing symptoms (i.e. hair growth, menstruation regulation, acne, etc.). The new plan is now to try Avandamet, which is a lovely drug with lots of law suites, deaths, and recalls in Canada! However, the claim is that you are only at risk if you are prone to heart failure. I don't think I am so here we go. I started the Avandamet last week (this is a combo of Avandia and Metformin) to see if this will help my body start to regulate itself better without BCP. I am supposed to give it 3 months and then return to the Endo for an update.
So, it seems I have now left the eastern medicine approach for now and am again giving Western medicine a try. The tough part is, I have not continued to follow through on what I learned previously from the eastern medicine (i.e. good diet and making time for myself), and at the Endo's office I found myself getting yet another reminder that we SHOULD be exercising, as this is the #1 way to help the drugs to do their job (coupled with healthy eating!) So, tomorrow again, I will begin the No Sugar, No Yeast regiment and my husband and I will venture to the gym for the "45 minutes of carido, 5 days per week" that the Endo continues to remind me to participate in!
On a happy front, things may be changing soon work wise for both my husband and I. We are hopeful that the last half of the year will be much more prosperous than the first half was.
Happy Memorial Day!
Friday I took a visit to my wonderful Endo's office (I am serious, they are wonderful), accompanied by my wonderful husband because I have to fast for blood work. Anyway, the RN did not fully agree with the GYN about starting the BCP (that was a lot of abbreviations... sorry), mostly because 1) we plan to start trying to get pregnant in the next year and 2) it is clear the Metformin is keeping my levels in the right place but that it is not preventing symptoms (i.e. hair growth, menstruation regulation, acne, etc.). The new plan is now to try Avandamet, which is a lovely drug with lots of law suites, deaths, and recalls in Canada! However, the claim is that you are only at risk if you are prone to heart failure. I don't think I am so here we go. I started the Avandamet last week (this is a combo of Avandia and Metformin) to see if this will help my body start to regulate itself better without BCP. I am supposed to give it 3 months and then return to the Endo for an update.
So, it seems I have now left the eastern medicine approach for now and am again giving Western medicine a try. The tough part is, I have not continued to follow through on what I learned previously from the eastern medicine (i.e. good diet and making time for myself), and at the Endo's office I found myself getting yet another reminder that we SHOULD be exercising, as this is the #1 way to help the drugs to do their job (coupled with healthy eating!) So, tomorrow again, I will begin the No Sugar, No Yeast regiment and my husband and I will venture to the gym for the "45 minutes of carido, 5 days per week" that the Endo continues to remind me to participate in!
On a happy front, things may be changing soon work wise for both my husband and I. We are hopeful that the last half of the year will be much more prosperous than the first half was.
Happy Memorial Day!
5.16.2010
Sinuses
Friday brought a trip to the ENT. I was actually pretty disappointed. It seems that I have to go have a CT scan on my sinuses before she can really tell me anything. She put a scope up my nose and said she could not see anything of note. When we asked what the possible treatment strategies would be I was told that if it is chronic sinusitis than they would want to put me on a month's worth of antibiotics. No thank you! I just did all of this work to get rid of the yeast in my body, I am not all that willing to go on antibiotics for a month! That would really kill off all of the good flora. So, I will continue to do research on my sinuses and see what happens.
Everything else continues to be on hold. I am not back to seeing the NP/acupuncturist yet, due to money. But once I continue my adventures I will be sure to blog more often.
My husband and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary this weekend. It was really wonderful. If you are ever in Denver be sure to stay at The Hotel Monaco, Eat at Snooze for breakfast, and take in a Rockie's game! It makes for a great stay-cation!
Everything else continues to be on hold. I am not back to seeing the NP/acupuncturist yet, due to money. But once I continue my adventures I will be sure to blog more often.
My husband and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary this weekend. It was really wonderful. If you are ever in Denver be sure to stay at The Hotel Monaco, Eat at Snooze for breakfast, and take in a Rockie's game! It makes for a great stay-cation!
5.08.2010
POI - An Interesting Link
My husband brought to my attention an interesting story he had heard on NPR. It is really interesting because the blood work that is done and symptoms sound much the same as PCOS. It is called primary ovarian insufficiency or POI. Here is the link. I think it is interesting for sure. I have had bouts of hot flashes at times, which I find a bit concerning. I will definitely bring this up with my Endo in a couple of weeks and see what they say. The most striking part of this story is how doctors so often just prescribe medication without doing the background research. Women are just put on the pill before doctors really figure out why someone is not getting their periods regularly. So, Check it out.... it is so very interesting.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126419827
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126419827
5.07.2010
Nothing to write about....
It has been a while since I last wrote a blog entry. Mostly because there is nothing going on health wise. My weight is stuck at 145lbs, as I said in prior postings, I am going to have to start exercising in order to lose more, but I would have to have time for that!! I stopped working with the NP, just for now until money looks better for us, then I will go back again. So for now, there is just not that much to write about! I was sick again last week, Thursday, and missed work. That was frustrating. Now work is asking me if I want to add another day to help make more money, which I declined. How can I treat more clients if I am sick all of the time? This would likely lead to me being sick more often and then working less and letting down more clients in the long run with cancellations. Anyway, I digress... I did not start this blog so I could complain about work. Unfortunately this is simply the most stressful thing in my life right now.
Today was actually a really good day, Friday's are no work days anyway. Diet wise, I was bad. Had bread and a nice brownie that was very yummy. I am however, being better on a daily basis about what I eat, so I do not feel so bad about splurging occasionally on days like this. I do have an ENT appointment to find out about my sinuses next Friday, and an Endo appointment on the 28th where I will find out if I can go off of the Metformin... eeekkk!!
Another reason today was great was that I got to spend some time with my nephews, which always makes me smile! The most exciting thing was that I finally spent some time with my youngest nephew, who is now 8 months old and usually cries when I hold him. But today, instead, he snuggled in and fell asleep. If you have not guessed by now what this did to me... go back a few posts! Totally got my clock ticking! I came home and told my husband I am SO ready to have a baby! Unfortunately, WE are not ready to have a baby!!
So in time for Sunday.... Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful loving mothers out there... especially to my Mom, who has always been so supportive and caring. Also to my very best friend in the whole world who is now a brand new mommy just in time for her first mother's day! I hope to someday join the ranks of mommies everywhere... but until then I will continue working with kiddos who need me and helping them to be better and better and better!!
Today was actually a really good day, Friday's are no work days anyway. Diet wise, I was bad. Had bread and a nice brownie that was very yummy. I am however, being better on a daily basis about what I eat, so I do not feel so bad about splurging occasionally on days like this. I do have an ENT appointment to find out about my sinuses next Friday, and an Endo appointment on the 28th where I will find out if I can go off of the Metformin... eeekkk!!
Another reason today was great was that I got to spend some time with my nephews, which always makes me smile! The most exciting thing was that I finally spent some time with my youngest nephew, who is now 8 months old and usually cries when I hold him. But today, instead, he snuggled in and fell asleep. If you have not guessed by now what this did to me... go back a few posts! Totally got my clock ticking! I came home and told my husband I am SO ready to have a baby! Unfortunately, WE are not ready to have a baby!!
So in time for Sunday.... Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful loving mothers out there... especially to my Mom, who has always been so supportive and caring. Also to my very best friend in the whole world who is now a brand new mommy just in time for her first mother's day! I hope to someday join the ranks of mommies everywhere... but until then I will continue working with kiddos who need me and helping them to be better and better and better!!
4.30.2010
Stress, Life, and Burn out
Do you ever wonder if you were meant to do what you think you were meant to do? Or does this even make sense? When I was in elementary school I met a friend named Sara. Sara was an animal lover. We used to play veterinarian and cut open our stuffed animals and restitch them together. We planned to have our clinic when we grew up and call it "S & R Veterinarian Services." We used to gallop around Sara's back yard, jumping over benches, and along with our veterinarian service planned to run a boarding and breeding facility for a variety of horse breeds. I see now that we would have been very busy people, but probably pretty happy with our horsey lives. I remember visiting the CSU Veterinarian School with my mom and Sara when I was in 5th grade and I knew at that moment I wanted to be a vet. So, here I am today, a pediatric occupational therapist (OT). That makes sense... right?
Somewhere along the line I went off track. In undergraduate school at CSU, I started out as an Equine Science major on track for vet school and somewhere along the way I got scared. What if I didn't make it? I could barely pass Basic Chemistry and I am not really science minded... how the heck would I make it through a DVM program? So, I abruptly switched to psychology and started volunteering in therapeutic horseback riding programs where I was introduced to OT.
I became an OT thinking that I would go into hippotherapy (basically this is OT done with people on horseback). Yet, since I left school I have worked in a hospital, a school, lectured about therapeutic horseback riding, worked home health, and worked in a clinic. I like my current jobs but they are not my passion and with each new job, after different amounts of time, I get burnt out. Now, I am burnt out.
I think our household is burnt out right now. My husband has been working his butt off at school, barely sleeping or doing anything but school work, school and work. In fact I am not sure I would recognize him without a computer in front of him these days. He works so hard and I can see him getting burnt out. Luckily, he has summer session coming up, and I am hopeful he will have a little more time to relax and decompress.
I, on the other hand, am SO burnt out. I seem to be in a place in my career where either I don't have anything to do all week or I am working until 8pm every night and waking up exhausted in the morning. The problem is those weeks where I have nothing to do equal weeks with no pay.
I spent today reading an article about OT and Burn Out. It is true that as a health care provider of any kind you have to have the skills to be separate from your job and leave work behind. But how do you leave children and families behind when you know they are struggling? The article also said to carve out time for yourself. Sure, I do that, on days I am sick I catch up on my sleep. Or at 9:00 pm when I have returned home from work at the clinic, make dinner, clean up, and am crawling into bed, I take 5 minutes for myself. I close my eyes and think "damn, I am tired." I think overall I am just tired of working 9 hour days or zero hour days. I am ready for consistency. But, each time this happens I wonder if I am doing the right thing, am I in the right career, maybe I should have been a vet after all, or maybe I need to pursue something I am more interested in.
Don't get me wrong, there are lots of opportunities out there waiting for everyone, even me. But how do we pick the right choice, the right path? It is much the same in taking care of our health as it is in our daily lives. The path you chose will eventually have a fork in the road, and if it doesn't, then sometimes you have to pick up a shovel and start making your own road. And sometimes we build a road, up a very steep hill, simply to find we meant to stay on the road we left 10 years ago. It may take a while to get back on track, but in the end, roads and paths are what life is all about.
Somewhere along the line I went off track. In undergraduate school at CSU, I started out as an Equine Science major on track for vet school and somewhere along the way I got scared. What if I didn't make it? I could barely pass Basic Chemistry and I am not really science minded... how the heck would I make it through a DVM program? So, I abruptly switched to psychology and started volunteering in therapeutic horseback riding programs where I was introduced to OT.
I became an OT thinking that I would go into hippotherapy (basically this is OT done with people on horseback). Yet, since I left school I have worked in a hospital, a school, lectured about therapeutic horseback riding, worked home health, and worked in a clinic. I like my current jobs but they are not my passion and with each new job, after different amounts of time, I get burnt out. Now, I am burnt out.
I think our household is burnt out right now. My husband has been working his butt off at school, barely sleeping or doing anything but school work, school and work. In fact I am not sure I would recognize him without a computer in front of him these days. He works so hard and I can see him getting burnt out. Luckily, he has summer session coming up, and I am hopeful he will have a little more time to relax and decompress.
I, on the other hand, am SO burnt out. I seem to be in a place in my career where either I don't have anything to do all week or I am working until 8pm every night and waking up exhausted in the morning. The problem is those weeks where I have nothing to do equal weeks with no pay.
I spent today reading an article about OT and Burn Out. It is true that as a health care provider of any kind you have to have the skills to be separate from your job and leave work behind. But how do you leave children and families behind when you know they are struggling? The article also said to carve out time for yourself. Sure, I do that, on days I am sick I catch up on my sleep. Or at 9:00 pm when I have returned home from work at the clinic, make dinner, clean up, and am crawling into bed, I take 5 minutes for myself. I close my eyes and think "damn, I am tired." I think overall I am just tired of working 9 hour days or zero hour days. I am ready for consistency. But, each time this happens I wonder if I am doing the right thing, am I in the right career, maybe I should have been a vet after all, or maybe I need to pursue something I am more interested in.
Don't get me wrong, there are lots of opportunities out there waiting for everyone, even me. But how do we pick the right choice, the right path? It is much the same in taking care of our health as it is in our daily lives. The path you chose will eventually have a fork in the road, and if it doesn't, then sometimes you have to pick up a shovel and start making your own road. And sometimes we build a road, up a very steep hill, simply to find we meant to stay on the road we left 10 years ago. It may take a while to get back on track, but in the end, roads and paths are what life is all about.
4.23.2010
Darn Sinus Infections
Just as I have been starting to feel better I ended up with yet another sinus infection, and yes the same exact one from last week. After consulting with the NP today it looks like I still have no choice but to visit an ENT to find out what is causing this continuous string of sinus infections. Yesterday was quite terrible, sore throat, no voice, and terribly stuffy. However, today after some acupuncture, I am feeling quite a bit better. I was sent home with some Chinese herbs and was released from the use of the earwax tasting herbal remedies!
All of these sinus infections again bring me back to thinking about imbalance. When one system of the body is out of balance, clearly it will affect other systems. I think this is where our current medical system falls short. Why do we continue to take medications that simply fix the symptoms and not the underlying problems? Maybe it is our society and the need for instant gratification and quick fixes. I hope this long journey, the more curvy and steep path, will lead me to balanced systems and away from covering symptoms.
As for my PCOS symptoms. I have been more tired in the past week and probably because I am fighting this infection. My weight has stalled at 145 to 146 lbs. Again, I think exercise will be necessary to get off of this plateau, My hair growth has not been too bad this month, which is encouraging, and I certainly feel better with less bloating and no acne to speak of.
I am hopeful to find a cure and a cause for my sinus infections. And I am hopeful that any link between my hormonal imbalance/PCOS, sinus infections, and adrenal sluggishness will soon become clear!
All of these sinus infections again bring me back to thinking about imbalance. When one system of the body is out of balance, clearly it will affect other systems. I think this is where our current medical system falls short. Why do we continue to take medications that simply fix the symptoms and not the underlying problems? Maybe it is our society and the need for instant gratification and quick fixes. I hope this long journey, the more curvy and steep path, will lead me to balanced systems and away from covering symptoms.
As for my PCOS symptoms. I have been more tired in the past week and probably because I am fighting this infection. My weight has stalled at 145 to 146 lbs. Again, I think exercise will be necessary to get off of this plateau, My hair growth has not been too bad this month, which is encouraging, and I certainly feel better with less bloating and no acne to speak of.
I am hopeful to find a cure and a cause for my sinus infections. And I am hopeful that any link between my hormonal imbalance/PCOS, sinus infections, and adrenal sluggishness will soon become clear!
4.19.2010
Choices that are not mine
Have you ever had the experience at night, when you are lying there trying to go to sleep and you have thoughts that seem profound? Most often you wake up the next morning to realize they were not all that profound, just tired babbling in your head.
Last night, as I lay between asleep and awake, I started thinking about PCOS and the statement "I am not PCOS, PCOS is not me." My brain cries out "but PCOS affects everything in your life! Your weight, your energy, your mood, and effectively your relationships." The most difficult thing is that PCOS effects my choices, or at least my ability to make certain choices. And by this I mean the choice to eat whatever I want, the choice to have energy to do whatever I want, and ultimately PCOS will decide if I am able to get pregnant or not. Out of all of these choices that are not mine, the last one bothers me the most. I think about it the most, it is on my mind, and it is the one thing that makes me the most sad. I know, just like everyone tells me, "why are you even thinking about this yet? You aren't even trying yet!" My favorite is "the more you worry about it the worse it will be."
I came across another blogger the other day, a "slim cyster," (This means she has PCOS symptoms but not a weight problem). She had 8 miscarriages before she and her husband gave up and decided for adoption. I began to think, how long would we try for? How much heart ache would we subject ourselves to? How much money will we have to spend just to have a baby if it doesn't happen? While most "normal couples" a baby cost them one night of fun, it just may not be the same for us. Does it ever seem that, as you go through your day, every woman you walk past is pregnant or chasing after 2 or 3 kids? Why them? Why not women with PCOS? Why do I have to feel like less of a woman because of this stupid syndrome?
So, why worry now? Well, I am certainly not getting any younger, and so the thought crosses my mind often. In the end, the reason I am on this "quest" to health is because I want to be able to have a baby some day. When we are ready, I want to have that choice. So, push on I will, in hopes that if I do all of these things, if I can affect change, than maybe there will not be heartbreak at the end of the journey, maybe there will be tears of joy.
Last night, as I lay between asleep and awake, I started thinking about PCOS and the statement "I am not PCOS, PCOS is not me." My brain cries out "but PCOS affects everything in your life! Your weight, your energy, your mood, and effectively your relationships." The most difficult thing is that PCOS effects my choices, or at least my ability to make certain choices. And by this I mean the choice to eat whatever I want, the choice to have energy to do whatever I want, and ultimately PCOS will decide if I am able to get pregnant or not. Out of all of these choices that are not mine, the last one bothers me the most. I think about it the most, it is on my mind, and it is the one thing that makes me the most sad. I know, just like everyone tells me, "why are you even thinking about this yet? You aren't even trying yet!" My favorite is "the more you worry about it the worse it will be."
I came across another blogger the other day, a "slim cyster," (This means she has PCOS symptoms but not a weight problem). She had 8 miscarriages before she and her husband gave up and decided for adoption. I began to think, how long would we try for? How much heart ache would we subject ourselves to? How much money will we have to spend just to have a baby if it doesn't happen? While most "normal couples" a baby cost them one night of fun, it just may not be the same for us. Does it ever seem that, as you go through your day, every woman you walk past is pregnant or chasing after 2 or 3 kids? Why them? Why not women with PCOS? Why do I have to feel like less of a woman because of this stupid syndrome?
So, why worry now? Well, I am certainly not getting any younger, and so the thought crosses my mind often. In the end, the reason I am on this "quest" to health is because I want to be able to have a baby some day. When we are ready, I want to have that choice. So, push on I will, in hopes that if I do all of these things, if I can affect change, than maybe there will not be heartbreak at the end of the journey, maybe there will be tears of joy.
4.17.2010
A visit to the naturopath
To continue from yesterday, I wanted to share what the last blood tests showed. I was surprised and sad because my cholesterol has gone UP... even on the candida diet with no sugar and low carbohydrates. So that was frustrating. But the NP related it to the problem that is showing up the biggest right now, which is slow adrenal glands. Your adrenal glands help with your energy level and mine are slow, especially in the AM. Which totally explains my exhausted feelings in the morning where I feel like I need to stay in bed until 10am. It is almost as if my adrenals do not wake up until later in the day. The good news is that my thyroid is looking good, for the most part. The NP did say that not all of the tests were run that he asked for, so I will be having a few more done in May when I go to see the Endocrinologist.
Most surprising though was my glucose levels... they are... LOW!! I am actually verging on hypoglycemic. This appears to be secondary to the Metformin. So guess what the recommendation is? Go off the Met! hooray! So the plan is to speak with the endocrinologist in May and let them know I want off... and then see how I have to proceed. I am a bit worried, I think the endo will think I am a nutter for wanting off of it. But I can always go back on if things go awry. I think I will hate myself more if I do not give my body a chance to regulate hormones on its own and see what can happen. The NP also brought up a good point that if I want to get pregnant any time in the future, better to go off the Met now and see what happens than doing it while I am pregnant... I think this is a good idea to.
I have to admit I am quite excited about the prospect of no Met, but at the same time I am worried. What if I grow a beard? What if I gain a whole bunch of weight because it really is not under control. My biggest concerns is that with my Cholesterol being high already, will it go higher if I am off of the Met? It is all yet to be determined.
I am quite enjoying being off of the candida diet. I have decided to stick to it for the most part, but I did splurge the other day and had a fruit tart that was SO yummy... I really did miss sugar. But I did notice I was able to control myself and even though I had sugar I have not craved it at all... then again it has only been a day!! :)
As for today no sugar eaten and I stuck to the candida diet all day. I have lost another 0.2 lbs... the weight is coming off a lot more slowly now and I think it is time to introduce exercise again. Any suggestions for fun ways to work out? My goal is lowering that darn cholesterol with exercise and continued healthy eating! Onward and upward! Cheers!
Most surprising though was my glucose levels... they are... LOW!! I am actually verging on hypoglycemic. This appears to be secondary to the Metformin. So guess what the recommendation is? Go off the Met! hooray! So the plan is to speak with the endocrinologist in May and let them know I want off... and then see how I have to proceed. I am a bit worried, I think the endo will think I am a nutter for wanting off of it. But I can always go back on if things go awry. I think I will hate myself more if I do not give my body a chance to regulate hormones on its own and see what can happen. The NP also brought up a good point that if I want to get pregnant any time in the future, better to go off the Met now and see what happens than doing it while I am pregnant... I think this is a good idea to.
I have to admit I am quite excited about the prospect of no Met, but at the same time I am worried. What if I grow a beard? What if I gain a whole bunch of weight because it really is not under control. My biggest concerns is that with my Cholesterol being high already, will it go higher if I am off of the Met? It is all yet to be determined.
I am quite enjoying being off of the candida diet. I have decided to stick to it for the most part, but I did splurge the other day and had a fruit tart that was SO yummy... I really did miss sugar. But I did notice I was able to control myself and even though I had sugar I have not craved it at all... then again it has only been a day!! :)
As for today no sugar eaten and I stuck to the candida diet all day. I have lost another 0.2 lbs... the weight is coming off a lot more slowly now and I think it is time to introduce exercise again. Any suggestions for fun ways to work out? My goal is lowering that darn cholesterol with exercise and continued healthy eating! Onward and upward! Cheers!
4.16.2010
Sinus Infection... But... Candida Free!!
Hooray! I visited Kim, my acupressurist today. I am officially Candida free! No more Acupressure appointments for me! Although I am totally going to miss seeing Kim every two weeks to hear her crazy life stories and our wonderful conversations, I am quite excited to be done with the whole Candida Diet. Unfortunately, Saturday marked the start of ANOTHER sinus infection! Goodness.... But this time I am pretty sure it is allergy/dry air/ pollen related. It was terribly windy last weekend in Colorado and I am thinking this is part of the cause, along with the yellow gook of pollen that covered all of the cars last weekend. Anyway, a visit to my naturopath on Wednesday introduced me to the wonderful world of herbal remedies... that taste like crap! :) I am sad to say that my alternative now, since I am no longer open to using antibiotics to cure my sinus infections (this leads to candida overgrowth), is to use herbal remedies. The current one tastes like ear wax. My husband asked me how I know what ear wax tastes like... but isn't it just one of those things you can guess at?
I wanted to also take a moment in this blog to mention the sheer opposite experiences I have had in the past weeks, working with naturopathic and western medicines. I had to visit my MD to have the blood tests done for the naturopath (the only way insurance will pay is for the MD to order them). The MD looked at me like I was nuts, but went along with it. After two weeks of waiting to receive the test results I had to call and get them faxed. Now, they told me they would call if anything was out of range, and things were out of range... but no one called. Had anyone read the tests? Who knows?
Cut to Wednesday. I faxed the labs to the naturopath on Monday afternoon. Wednesday afternoon I went for a visit. I was met with RETYPED labs and a whole manual on how we will proceed with my health care!!! Holy cow! Who does this!! We went over every lab result out of range, discussed treatment options, how we are going to continue to treat different problems, where to start. AND it included information about diet, exercise, supplements! WOW!
Anyway, I wanted to blog just shortly today. I must stop for now and go shop for butterfly decorations for my nephew's birthday on Sunday. But I shall return at a later time tonight or tomorrow to finish this story!
Happy Friday!!
I wanted to also take a moment in this blog to mention the sheer opposite experiences I have had in the past weeks, working with naturopathic and western medicines. I had to visit my MD to have the blood tests done for the naturopath (the only way insurance will pay is for the MD to order them). The MD looked at me like I was nuts, but went along with it. After two weeks of waiting to receive the test results I had to call and get them faxed. Now, they told me they would call if anything was out of range, and things were out of range... but no one called. Had anyone read the tests? Who knows?
Cut to Wednesday. I faxed the labs to the naturopath on Monday afternoon. Wednesday afternoon I went for a visit. I was met with RETYPED labs and a whole manual on how we will proceed with my health care!!! Holy cow! Who does this!! We went over every lab result out of range, discussed treatment options, how we are going to continue to treat different problems, where to start. AND it included information about diet, exercise, supplements! WOW!
Anyway, I wanted to blog just shortly today. I must stop for now and go shop for butterfly decorations for my nephew's birthday on Sunday. But I shall return at a later time tonight or tomorrow to finish this story!
Happy Friday!!
4.08.2010
Another day... Another Diet
A visit to the naturopath yesterday was interesting and helpful as always. I feel I should back up a bit. Tuesday was a horrible day. I woke up feeling sluggish and much like I imagine it would feel like to be a zombie. I had a crazy morning and then ambled into work at 1:30pm, realizing I had forgotten the ever important monthly parent meeting. I called my boss, explained my situation and returned to my job. By that evening I had been bitten (yes someone bit me!) and I went home in tears. Some days don't you just feel like you suck at your job? I did that day.
Cut to yesterday, a new day and new appointment with the needles and my favorite naturopath. We discussed my Easter Day snafu of too much food and my new zombie like feelings. While lots of needles were being stuck all over (chest, legs, feet, back, and stomach), we discussed my diet. I was excitedly explaining how I was going to soon be done with the Candida Diet when the naturopath started, just as excitedly, telling me about my next two diets... my excitement waned at the mention of more diets. So, the next diets, once I am done with the Candida Diet, will be (in this order) The Elimination Diet followed by a likely appearance of the Insulin Resistant Diet. The first (Elimination Diet) will last only 3 weeks... or so I am told, the second (IR diet) could last any amount of time... But I don't know how long. This makes me a bit concerned and I have a feeling the IR diet does not involve a return of sugar and sweets to my diet, and maybe not alcohol either. :(
So what is the elimination diet? The goal is to determine what sorts of foods cause distress and inflammation to your GI tract (i.e. intestines and stomach). The thought is that because your GI tract not only digests food for you, but also is responsible for your immunity and health, keeping foods that upset the GI tract would be important. Makes sense... right?? So, you eat a diet of Water, rice, millet, quinoa, buckwheat, tapioca, fresh fruit (Thank god!), vegetables, beans, peas, fish, chicken, turkey, lamb, and or olive oil/flax seed oil. Then every three days you add in one of the "forbidden foods." These include: Dairy, gluten, tomato products, soy products, alcohol, caffeine, peanut products, beef, pork, cold cuts, bacon, hot dogs, canned meat, sausage, shellfish,and meat substitutes made from soy... and of course sugar too! You then add that forbidden food (just one at a time) until you have "symptoms of inflammation" such as body aches, gas,bloating, general feelings of yuck, fatigue, etc. If you never show signs then you can keep that food in your diet! But if you have symptoms then that food is out... for good. :( I have a feeling sugar will be out... for good. I have NO idea how I will do this one.. but I will do my best. If not for my health... just for something to keep writing about or just for the experience to see if all of these diets and craziness work. Luckily, (and I never thought I would say Luckily and Candida diet in the same sentence) I still have the freedom of the Candida diet for at least two more weeks.
As for the IR diet... I have not researched it, but I am hoping that once I am through the elimination and candida diets, there may not be a need for the IR?!?! I'll let you know how it turns out! I do know that this is a diet many women with PCOS and metabolic syndrome use to lose weight and become healthy. At this point, if it gets me off Metformin I am willing to try!
I did leave the naturopath on Wednesday feeling a bit more energized and ready to face the world. After one more client that afternoon and a stellar (if I do say so myself) guest lecture at the university, I came home and felt TONS better. (One of the students even wrote "you rock" on the bottom of my evaluation).
Thursday, yes today is Thursday, went fairly well. I had a fairly quiet work day, I feel tired but not like a zombie, and I am looking forward to a day off tomorrow and a pedicure as my treat for the day! I wish everyone a very happy and relaxed weekend. If it is warm where you are get out and move and appreciate that you have a body that works for you... even if it only works 25% of the time!
Cut to yesterday, a new day and new appointment with the needles and my favorite naturopath. We discussed my Easter Day snafu of too much food and my new zombie like feelings. While lots of needles were being stuck all over (chest, legs, feet, back, and stomach), we discussed my diet. I was excitedly explaining how I was going to soon be done with the Candida Diet when the naturopath started, just as excitedly, telling me about my next two diets... my excitement waned at the mention of more diets. So, the next diets, once I am done with the Candida Diet, will be (in this order) The Elimination Diet followed by a likely appearance of the Insulin Resistant Diet. The first (Elimination Diet) will last only 3 weeks... or so I am told, the second (IR diet) could last any amount of time... But I don't know how long. This makes me a bit concerned and I have a feeling the IR diet does not involve a return of sugar and sweets to my diet, and maybe not alcohol either. :(
So what is the elimination diet? The goal is to determine what sorts of foods cause distress and inflammation to your GI tract (i.e. intestines and stomach). The thought is that because your GI tract not only digests food for you, but also is responsible for your immunity and health, keeping foods that upset the GI tract would be important. Makes sense... right?? So, you eat a diet of Water, rice, millet, quinoa, buckwheat, tapioca, fresh fruit (Thank god!), vegetables, beans, peas, fish, chicken, turkey, lamb, and or olive oil/flax seed oil. Then every three days you add in one of the "forbidden foods." These include: Dairy, gluten, tomato products, soy products, alcohol, caffeine, peanut products, beef, pork, cold cuts, bacon, hot dogs, canned meat, sausage, shellfish,and meat substitutes made from soy... and of course sugar too! You then add that forbidden food (just one at a time) until you have "symptoms of inflammation" such as body aches, gas,bloating, general feelings of yuck, fatigue, etc. If you never show signs then you can keep that food in your diet! But if you have symptoms then that food is out... for good. :( I have a feeling sugar will be out... for good. I have NO idea how I will do this one.. but I will do my best. If not for my health... just for something to keep writing about or just for the experience to see if all of these diets and craziness work. Luckily, (and I never thought I would say Luckily and Candida diet in the same sentence) I still have the freedom of the Candida diet for at least two more weeks.
As for the IR diet... I have not researched it, but I am hoping that once I am through the elimination and candida diets, there may not be a need for the IR?!?! I'll let you know how it turns out! I do know that this is a diet many women with PCOS and metabolic syndrome use to lose weight and become healthy. At this point, if it gets me off Metformin I am willing to try!
I did leave the naturopath on Wednesday feeling a bit more energized and ready to face the world. After one more client that afternoon and a stellar (if I do say so myself) guest lecture at the university, I came home and felt TONS better. (One of the students even wrote "you rock" on the bottom of my evaluation).
Thursday, yes today is Thursday, went fairly well. I had a fairly quiet work day, I feel tired but not like a zombie, and I am looking forward to a day off tomorrow and a pedicure as my treat for the day! I wish everyone a very happy and relaxed weekend. If it is warm where you are get out and move and appreciate that you have a body that works for you... even if it only works 25% of the time!
4.05.2010
Ooops.... too much food.
In starting the Candida diet I read over and over again that once you started to come off of the diet, you had to slowly integrate the items you have not been eating. Well, cut to Easter Sunday. I invited my parents over and woke up that morning dreaming of roast beef. There is nothing in roast beef that is not allowed on the Candida diet, but the recipe I found had this wonderful, yummy gravy recipe. Yes, it had wine, in had vinegar based ingredients, it had mushrooms. But, I decided, "hey I am doing great on this diet, I am almost done with it, I can splurge just a bit!" Wrong! I enjoyed Mashed Potatoes with the gravy and Roast with the gravy. I also enjoyed corn souffle and banana pudding (made with Stevia which is okay on the Candida Diet), but I did cheat and I put whipped cream on top of the banana pudding and ate the gravy. The end result... I was SO sick! I am still not feeling myself this morning and have a pretty upset stomach. But, a lesson for sure during this experience. I will not make this mistake again. Back on the Candida Diet Restrictions I go this morning. I will readily follow the guidelines once again, and hope that I did not do too much damage to my prior progress!
I am still amazed that I used to be able to eat foods this rich in mass consumption and not feel ill. But I did have flashbacks to before this Candida diet when I used to over eat on many rich foods and then fall into a food coma after. Don't get me wrong, I love rich foods... I just love food in general I think. But, I am hoping at the end of this experience I have learned to respect food a little more, in the way I am pretty sure I was supposed to learn to respect in when I was attending Weight Watcher's meetings. But that never stuck... I am hoping this time it will.
I am still amazed that I used to be able to eat foods this rich in mass consumption and not feel ill. But I did have flashbacks to before this Candida diet when I used to over eat on many rich foods and then fall into a food coma after. Don't get me wrong, I love rich foods... I just love food in general I think. But, I am hoping at the end of this experience I have learned to respect food a little more, in the way I am pretty sure I was supposed to learn to respect in when I was attending Weight Watcher's meetings. But that never stuck... I am hoping this time it will.
4.04.2010
Almost Yeastie Free!!
The week flew by this week. Lots of kiddo clients to see and lots of work to do. Even this weekend has been super busy too. I visited Kim, my accupressurist, on Friday morning and am delighted to report that I am almost yeast free (except for my stomach where the yeast is supposed to live!). I am really very excited. I feel like I can almost see a light at the end of the tunnel for the Candida diet! She tells me that after another check in 3 weeks, if I am still doing so well, than I can go off of the yeast free diet and slowly incorporate some sugar and yeast products into my diet! hooray!
My update for last week: I did get my adrenal tests done, soaking cotton under my tongue and sticking them in little vials (that was interesting). But I did not do it until yesterday and will have to express mail them tomorrow. I also started doing some yoga.. I made it three days in a row and then did not get any in yesterday, or so far today. But I do feel this is progress. I also was excited to see that I lost another pound this week. I was feeling a bit down last week, as my scale said I had gained 1.2 lbs, but that weight plus another 1 pound is gone this week. In 14 weeks, since starting to work with the eastern medicine and the candida free diet I have lost 12 lbs! It really is amazing. I have not counted calories or really exercised for that matter, but the weight is coming off. I do think I will eventually hit a plateau where I will have to exercise. And besides, exercise is important and, considering in my job I am telling parents that their kids need to move, I should probably start moving too!
It is yet to be known if I will really be able to go off of the Metformin... but I am becoming more hopeful. I have also seen a big slow down in my facial hair growth. (I was going to apologize for typing this statement but the fact is it is part of PCOS and I am not going to edit out the icky embarrassing stuff!.) Anyway, I will be going to see the endocrinologist next month, it will be interesting to see what they have to say about the change and what they think about going off of the Metformin. I know the western medical model is reliant on drug treatment these days but I am determined to get rid of the drugs and still be healthy!
Happy Easter!
My update for last week: I did get my adrenal tests done, soaking cotton under my tongue and sticking them in little vials (that was interesting). But I did not do it until yesterday and will have to express mail them tomorrow. I also started doing some yoga.. I made it three days in a row and then did not get any in yesterday, or so far today. But I do feel this is progress. I also was excited to see that I lost another pound this week. I was feeling a bit down last week, as my scale said I had gained 1.2 lbs, but that weight plus another 1 pound is gone this week. In 14 weeks, since starting to work with the eastern medicine and the candida free diet I have lost 12 lbs! It really is amazing. I have not counted calories or really exercised for that matter, but the weight is coming off. I do think I will eventually hit a plateau where I will have to exercise. And besides, exercise is important and, considering in my job I am telling parents that their kids need to move, I should probably start moving too!
It is yet to be known if I will really be able to go off of the Metformin... but I am becoming more hopeful. I have also seen a big slow down in my facial hair growth. (I was going to apologize for typing this statement but the fact is it is part of PCOS and I am not going to edit out the icky embarrassing stuff!.) Anyway, I will be going to see the endocrinologist next month, it will be interesting to see what they have to say about the change and what they think about going off of the Metformin. I know the western medical model is reliant on drug treatment these days but I am determined to get rid of the drugs and still be healthy!
Happy Easter!
3.29.2010
PCOS: Some days It Just Makes Me Tired
Okay, maybe not PCOS that made me tired today (it was probably that I was having allergies last night and could not breath), but it did remind me how tired PCOS has made me in the past. Yes, tired, exhausted, fatigued, burned out, collapsed, finished, petered out, stick a fork in me I am done! Some days it is just so hard to get out of bed and walk to the kitchen to take all of my supplements. Today was one of those days. I was reflecting today on my fatigue level, however, and noted that it is not nearly as bad as it used to be. In the past when I had not slept well I would have probably ended up with a migraine, I would have called all of my clients to cancel sessions because I was so tired. But not today, even though I got next to no sleep and woke up when my husband did (at 6:45am), I was still functional. In fact I wrote my lecture for this Wednesday, cleaned up the house, and made it to all of my clients, I even got home and made dinner and got more work done. No one should work until 8:30 pm, it is nuts! Anyway, all of this progress makes me happy. I am excited to have some energy and it makes me think that it may be possible to get rid of the Metformin eventually. It seems like my body is starting to wake up and see that it can do more than it has been doing for the past few years! I have even been considering starting up some exercise in the mornings. I plan to continue to hold off on any heavy duty cardio (like the 5 miles of running I used to do) and start with something like yoga in the mornings and evenings. I think this will help with some strengthening and not push my immune system too far or fatigue me past the point of no return. So, tomorrow, since I have a late start for work, I am going to attempt to get up and do 30 minutes of yoga.. I feel like if I put it on my blog I will have to stick to it.. there are now two people I know of who will know if I don't do it!
I was also considering that I must complete my adrenal test tomorrow or Wednesday, which is challenging. This is something the Acupuncturist/Naturopath gave me to complete. It is a small kit with 4 vials filled with cotton. I have to pull out the cotton, soak it under my tongue, and then return it to the vial, being sure to refrigerate it. I was planning to complete this last weekend, and then got so busy and went out of town, so obviously it did not get done. I am not sure how to get it accomplished while at work (and on top of this I cannot eat any garlic and onions the day I do it for some reason), so it will be interesting for sure. Let's see if i can do yoga and get my adrenal test done tomorrow... those sound like good goals.
I'll let you know how it goes!
Good night!
I was also considering that I must complete my adrenal test tomorrow or Wednesday, which is challenging. This is something the Acupuncturist/Naturopath gave me to complete. It is a small kit with 4 vials filled with cotton. I have to pull out the cotton, soak it under my tongue, and then return it to the vial, being sure to refrigerate it. I was planning to complete this last weekend, and then got so busy and went out of town, so obviously it did not get done. I am not sure how to get it accomplished while at work (and on top of this I cannot eat any garlic and onions the day I do it for some reason), so it will be interesting for sure. Let's see if i can do yoga and get my adrenal test done tomorrow... those sound like good goals.
I'll let you know how it goes!
Good night!
3.28.2010
Health Care Expensive? Yes!
So, I got an explanation of benefits today from my insurance company, and I almost died. $425.00 for my ultrasound from last month. I almost died. Don't get me wrong, thank god I have insurance in this country! The insurance paid over $1600.00... can you BELIEVE that an ultrasound would be over $2000.00!?!?! I almost died. It definitely makes it worth it to have insurance. But again, it makes me sad for the people who cannot afford health insurance and do not qualify for any assistance. I still await the EOB for the recent blood tests, this venture of trying to get healthy is getting more and more expensive!
I visited Kim, my acupressurist yesterday. It looks like my candida diet continues to help, although I am almost 2 months in and there is still candida in my system. I still have some Candida in my liver, left kidney, and spleen, but it is gone from my sinuses. It snowed again yesterday, yet I am still without a sinus infection. I think my immune system is finally waking up!!! :) We also went to visit my brother in law last night, who lives up above Fort Collins. Again I did not get sick, although usually in the dry climate up where he lives I wake up feeling stuffy and tired. Still tired today, due to the terrible guest bed... maybe less exhausted then usual since we usually drink like fish up at his house, and since I am not allowed any alcohol on the candida diet, I had to forgo it this time! I find it funny that as I go through this experience with the candida diet, I find that I do not have a hard time "just saying no" with drinking and desserts... but I can tell you that today I really wanted a cinnamon roll (these are one of my most favorite foods on earth) and tonight I have been craving chocolate, perhaps due to watching "When Harry Met Sally" and the scene where they are eating the chocolate cream pie!! Yum! Although I find I don't crave these things any more, I sure do miss enjoying them. My husband says I will probably go into a coma the first time I have sugar again, I can't wait! I have no idea how long it will be until I actually get to have some kind of sugary treat, but I dream of it constantly. Fruit as dessert just does not cut it anymore, but I am determined to get all of the way through!
I visited Kim, my acupressurist yesterday. It looks like my candida diet continues to help, although I am almost 2 months in and there is still candida in my system. I still have some Candida in my liver, left kidney, and spleen, but it is gone from my sinuses. It snowed again yesterday, yet I am still without a sinus infection. I think my immune system is finally waking up!!! :) We also went to visit my brother in law last night, who lives up above Fort Collins. Again I did not get sick, although usually in the dry climate up where he lives I wake up feeling stuffy and tired. Still tired today, due to the terrible guest bed... maybe less exhausted then usual since we usually drink like fish up at his house, and since I am not allowed any alcohol on the candida diet, I had to forgo it this time! I find it funny that as I go through this experience with the candida diet, I find that I do not have a hard time "just saying no" with drinking and desserts... but I can tell you that today I really wanted a cinnamon roll (these are one of my most favorite foods on earth) and tonight I have been craving chocolate, perhaps due to watching "When Harry Met Sally" and the scene where they are eating the chocolate cream pie!! Yum! Although I find I don't crave these things any more, I sure do miss enjoying them. My husband says I will probably go into a coma the first time I have sugar again, I can't wait! I have no idea how long it will be until I actually get to have some kind of sugary treat, but I dream of it constantly. Fruit as dessert just does not cut it anymore, but I am determined to get all of the way through!
3.26.2010
The End of the 8 Week Flood
Yes, it lasted 8 weeks. You never realize how annoying that time of the month is until it becomes that time of 2 months!! But it is over, for now, and the progesterone worked. My new life lesson for today? You must take your health into your own hands! In starting this blog, I don't want to imply that my path to health is going to be the same as anyone else with PCOS. Indeed, I know some people out there will think I am nuts, or that what I am trying will not work, or that I am saying anyone else should embark on this path.
My ultimate goal? Down with the Metformin! Is it possible? I have no clue. Is it a health risk, for sure. I may go down this path, get off of the Metformin, grow a beard, go bald, and gain back all of the weight and then some. But I know I must try, because I cannot see living my life popping these pills on a daily basis and feeling that I am just covering up what is really going on in my body. Again, I realize it may not be possible, but I am going to try, and I hope in the end to inspire at least one other person to take their health care into their own hands, explore their options, and find their own path.
So far, my path, has been a bumpy curvy one. So this past week, I have seen the Naturopath/Acupuncturist, my general practitioner, and this evening off to the craniosacral thearpist! The NP is ordering a variety of blood tests to see what is going on. The most crazy thing I have heard yet? Thyroid problems can often produce many of the same symptoms (including LH/FSH Level discrepancies), male pattern hair growth and balding? Yes! Wow.... He is not saying I don't have PCOS but that maybe there is a second component. Okay, this is a bit of a downer... I thought that maybe, just maybe, it would be simple this time... is it ever simple for those of us diagnosed with PCOS?! But, I am still smiling... at least I have found someone, in all of the medical world to look a bit more deeply, to try to find not just a cure but the cause. We have to go back and fix the path, smooth out the bumps, stop the cycle of PCOS and whatever other dysfunction is occurring in this body in a more natural way.
But... did I mention that naturopaths also use pills? All natural ingredients, usually from plants. But pills none the less. So I am currently taking the following:
Metformin (5 pills per day)
Fish oil
Aspirin
Vitamin C
Iron Supplement
Probiotics
Candex
Myco-zyme
NAC (supposedly helpful for PCOS)
Milk Thistle
On top of these I have been advised to add a B12 complex and a pill to "support the adrenal glands". I did point out to the naturopath that my goal was to get away from pills completely, to which he responded that we must "train the cells" to tolerate insulin appropriately as well as increase the function of my immune system. ooookkkkayyyy.... I will try it... did I mention this is expensive too!?!? Between blood tests, ultrasounds, supplements and prescriptions, acupressure, naturopath, and MD appointments, my husband and I may go bankrupt. I am not sure at what point I would have to give up and go back to just Metformin. But I hope to continue trying.
One of my goals on this blog is to not be political. Health problems, PCOS, Thyroid problems... all of the things I am dealing with, others too are dealing with. I think many of us do not realize this until a serious health problem hits us or someone we love. Health problems know no socioeconomic boundaries, but right now health care does. So, I am not going to speak of what side of the health care argument I support, but I will say this... not everyone can afford to give up 1/5 of their salary each month to spend on acupuncture/pressure, MD, Blood tests, and supplements that are not covered by insurance, heck most of us are just struggling to pay our insurance premiums. There has to be some way to make medical procedures and processes that are helpful available to everyone in a fair way.
Just today, I had to have a large amount of blood drawn from my arm. I was informed that although I have a history of thyroid problems and have symptoms of thyroid problems, my insurance may not want to help me pay for the testing. How nice, to be able to chose not to pay for something diagnostic. If the general practitioner had not agreed to order the testing for the naturopath, I would have had to pay out of pocket for the testing, possibly costing over $1000. I know I don't have that much money to throw around... Do you!? But, alas, I lucked out, have a good general practitioner who is willing to let me try this path out, and was helpful enough to order the testing... hooray! So, when the tests return, I will blog again... or maybe I will blog sooner... although I think right now just my husband reads this blog! Maybe someday there will be more than just him.... although Honey.. thanks for your support through it all!!!
By the way, as an end to my post.. remember all of my sinus problems? With each snow this year I have had sinus problems... well, Colorado had snow this past weekend and it is supposed to happen again today. Can I tell you, for the first time this year, it snowed, and I do not have sinus pressure, pain, nor infection! Hooray, thank goodness for little miracles!!
My ultimate goal? Down with the Metformin! Is it possible? I have no clue. Is it a health risk, for sure. I may go down this path, get off of the Metformin, grow a beard, go bald, and gain back all of the weight and then some. But I know I must try, because I cannot see living my life popping these pills on a daily basis and feeling that I am just covering up what is really going on in my body. Again, I realize it may not be possible, but I am going to try, and I hope in the end to inspire at least one other person to take their health care into their own hands, explore their options, and find their own path.
So far, my path, has been a bumpy curvy one. So this past week, I have seen the Naturopath/Acupuncturist, my general practitioner, and this evening off to the craniosacral thearpist! The NP is ordering a variety of blood tests to see what is going on. The most crazy thing I have heard yet? Thyroid problems can often produce many of the same symptoms (including LH/FSH Level discrepancies), male pattern hair growth and balding? Yes! Wow.... He is not saying I don't have PCOS but that maybe there is a second component. Okay, this is a bit of a downer... I thought that maybe, just maybe, it would be simple this time... is it ever simple for those of us diagnosed with PCOS?! But, I am still smiling... at least I have found someone, in all of the medical world to look a bit more deeply, to try to find not just a cure but the cause. We have to go back and fix the path, smooth out the bumps, stop the cycle of PCOS and whatever other dysfunction is occurring in this body in a more natural way.
But... did I mention that naturopaths also use pills? All natural ingredients, usually from plants. But pills none the less. So I am currently taking the following:
Metformin (5 pills per day)
Fish oil
Aspirin
Vitamin C
Iron Supplement
Probiotics
Candex
Myco-zyme
NAC (supposedly helpful for PCOS)
Milk Thistle
On top of these I have been advised to add a B12 complex and a pill to "support the adrenal glands". I did point out to the naturopath that my goal was to get away from pills completely, to which he responded that we must "train the cells" to tolerate insulin appropriately as well as increase the function of my immune system. ooookkkkayyyy.... I will try it... did I mention this is expensive too!?!? Between blood tests, ultrasounds, supplements and prescriptions, acupressure, naturopath, and MD appointments, my husband and I may go bankrupt. I am not sure at what point I would have to give up and go back to just Metformin. But I hope to continue trying.
One of my goals on this blog is to not be political. Health problems, PCOS, Thyroid problems... all of the things I am dealing with, others too are dealing with. I think many of us do not realize this until a serious health problem hits us or someone we love. Health problems know no socioeconomic boundaries, but right now health care does. So, I am not going to speak of what side of the health care argument I support, but I will say this... not everyone can afford to give up 1/5 of their salary each month to spend on acupuncture/pressure, MD, Blood tests, and supplements that are not covered by insurance, heck most of us are just struggling to pay our insurance premiums. There has to be some way to make medical procedures and processes that are helpful available to everyone in a fair way.
Just today, I had to have a large amount of blood drawn from my arm. I was informed that although I have a history of thyroid problems and have symptoms of thyroid problems, my insurance may not want to help me pay for the testing. How nice, to be able to chose not to pay for something diagnostic. If the general practitioner had not agreed to order the testing for the naturopath, I would have had to pay out of pocket for the testing, possibly costing over $1000. I know I don't have that much money to throw around... Do you!? But, alas, I lucked out, have a good general practitioner who is willing to let me try this path out, and was helpful enough to order the testing... hooray! So, when the tests return, I will blog again... or maybe I will blog sooner... although I think right now just my husband reads this blog! Maybe someday there will be more than just him.... although Honey.. thanks for your support through it all!!!
By the way, as an end to my post.. remember all of my sinus problems? With each snow this year I have had sinus problems... well, Colorado had snow this past weekend and it is supposed to happen again today. Can I tell you, for the first time this year, it snowed, and I do not have sinus pressure, pain, nor infection! Hooray, thank goodness for little miracles!!
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