7.24.2012

So Inconsistent...

Blogging is not my life for sure... otherwise I would clearly be very poor and living in a box. When you have a child life gets so busy and you just never think to stop and write in a blog. Lately there are so many crazy things happening so I thought I would write a few thoughts. In the PCOS area not much is happening. I am still carrying around 25-30 lbs (yes I am 165 lbs still) of baby weight. I have tried weight watchers, we tried the juice diet (which was terrible and no way to live your life), and I struggle to go back to a yeast free/sugar free diet, because clearly I am addicted to carbohydrates... as are most PCOSers! One wonderful thing has happened though. A good friend of mine invited me to join her in running a 5K in August. I said sure why not! I am now running about 3 miles, 5 times per week, which is awesome! However, due to my poor diet I have not lost a pound from all of this exercise. I hope, in weeks to come that this will change and I will be better able to control my urges. I really really would like to cut out carbs and sugar for a good 3-6 months again and see what happens! Any advice on how to do it? Friend and family support and maybe finding someone to do it with is always the best. In my personal life I continue to have the most joy in watching my little daughter grow with each day. She is walking now and is all over the place! She loves to "chat" although most of it is gibberish, but it is fun to have conversations... even though I have no idea what the responses are! :) This summer has been an eye opener for me in many ways. I was contacted recently by a college and may be offered a fairly high paid position, they have not decided yet and I continue to wait to hear. I was very excited when the opportunity first arose, but things changed in the last week. However, for the past two weeks I have been home with my little love with no day care and something happened... I fell madly in love with her all over again. I fell in love with the day to day efforts of being a mommy. Also, on Thursday night a terrible thing happened here in my home state when 12 people were killed and many more were injured while simply sitting down to do what so many of us do in our lives.. enjoy a movie. These two things combined have changed my mind about work and have made me realize what I want in life. I want to be around to see my daughter grow and develop. I don't want to do this just on the weekends, while she is in daycare the rest of the time or with my family the rest of the time... I want her to be with me as much as possible. If we could afford for me to be a stay at home mom, I would do it in a heartbeat. But, it is just not so... instead... I am starting my own business. I have talked about this FOREVER! But I never had the confidence that I could do it. So, I am doing it and I am announcing it publicly so that I cannot back out... I have to do it now. Things are coming together nicely and if I get my way, by October my little one will be in school for 1/2 days 5 days per week while I work and I will get to be home the rest of the time with her! I am excited, scared, and unsure, but I know this time I have to do it, for myself and for my little one! Happy days to everyone!

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