This was on the news this evening... I think I will be going back to Metformin... I think I would rather do BCP than risk death!
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31727_162-20009089-10391695.html
6.28.2010
What kind of female are you?
Have you ever spoken to a group of males before as the only female in the room? I recently spent the evening with my husband and a male friend of his, along with a roommate of this friend. I heard a lot of interesting stories, as my husband and his friend have known each other for a long time. Some stories you kind of think "huh that is interesting" and others... well, others I just plain did not want to hear. Now, I know I am not a "guys girl." I love my girlfriends and hanging out with them (although they all live so far away!). I also know that when we hang out we do not spend entire evenings comparing our past conquests or men that we once dated. We have better stuff to talk about! One of the things I heard a lot about, while surrounded by men last weekend, was women, other women, past women in their lives (ding ding... one of the things I did not want to hear about). I heard a lot of, "she was the hottest girl I ever dated," and "she had legs up to here, she was amazing." Notice I did not hear "she was so beautiful and intelligent. I could talk to her all night long." I also heard a lot of "you know, she was 'that kind of girl.'" After a full evening of this I began to wonder... what the heck is "that kind of girl?" and where the heck are the "women" in these men's lives?
There is something about men in their 30's, some females get to be called "women" and some are still "girls." Webster's dictionary states that a "girl is a term for a female between birth and adulthood" while a "woman is an adult female". For men, it does not seem to be an age barrier, but I cannot figure out where the line falls. I was recently informed that I still fall in the "girl" category. I find it baffling. I have supported myself and husband for 2 1/2 years now, kept a roof over our heads, paid hefty school loan payments along with all of our living expenses, worked 30-40 hours per week in an emotionally draining career, all while dealing with migraines, massive PMS, hair growth, weight gain, and everything else that comes with being a female and having PCOS. Yet I am still a "girl." What is "that type" that gets to be called a "woman?" I assume they have long legs, stylish hair, and wear a size 2 skirt suite to work every day with high heels. I, on the other hand, wear pants and tops (neither size 2!) with my comfy shoes, because I work around kids with disabilities, and ya know, a nice skirt suite just does not work when you are helping someone learn play skills. My next question begs, what type of respect and behavior does a "woman" get verses those of us who remain "girls," although we are old enough to be someone's mother?
As I sat and listened to the stories of the past I began to wonder, would these stories be told in front of just any female, or is it the fact that I am still considered a "girl" that I am subjected to such ridiculousness? If I was a "woman" would men be trying to "appear" well behaved, would there be attempts to "impress," or at least not so demeaning toward women.
I am old enough to have had good and bad relationships with men... maybe I should call them boys.... I have made relationship mistakes and dated "boys" who made ridiculous comments and remarks about other women while I was standing right there (not my husband, he doesn't do this). In the end, I am tired... I will never be what the magazines and media tell you that a "woman" is supposed to be. But, I am indeed a woman. After my experience this past weekend I was mad at these men, who are a big part of my life, because they do not see me as a woman. Then I pondered why I was so mad. Finally, today, I had a realization. I don't care if they think I am a woman, the fact is and the proof shows, I am in fact a woman, not a girl. Probably more so than some of those "women" and "girls" they spoke of to me. I am a strong women, who has weaknesses sometimes and needs her family and friends and support. But, I know who I am and I do not have any fantasies that I will become anyone else, this is me, for life. I will never look like a model, and maybe they don't think I am beautiful on the outside (like the girl who was beautiful because of her long legs and apparent stripper like tendencies), but I have a brain and a body and a life helping others. If that does not make a beautiful woman than I don't know what the heck the definition of woman is.
There is something about men in their 30's, some females get to be called "women" and some are still "girls." Webster's dictionary states that a "girl is a term for a female between birth and adulthood" while a "woman is an adult female". For men, it does not seem to be an age barrier, but I cannot figure out where the line falls. I was recently informed that I still fall in the "girl" category. I find it baffling. I have supported myself and husband for 2 1/2 years now, kept a roof over our heads, paid hefty school loan payments along with all of our living expenses, worked 30-40 hours per week in an emotionally draining career, all while dealing with migraines, massive PMS, hair growth, weight gain, and everything else that comes with being a female and having PCOS. Yet I am still a "girl." What is "that type" that gets to be called a "woman?" I assume they have long legs, stylish hair, and wear a size 2 skirt suite to work every day with high heels. I, on the other hand, wear pants and tops (neither size 2!) with my comfy shoes, because I work around kids with disabilities, and ya know, a nice skirt suite just does not work when you are helping someone learn play skills. My next question begs, what type of respect and behavior does a "woman" get verses those of us who remain "girls," although we are old enough to be someone's mother?
As I sat and listened to the stories of the past I began to wonder, would these stories be told in front of just any female, or is it the fact that I am still considered a "girl" that I am subjected to such ridiculousness? If I was a "woman" would men be trying to "appear" well behaved, would there be attempts to "impress," or at least not so demeaning toward women.
I am old enough to have had good and bad relationships with men... maybe I should call them boys.... I have made relationship mistakes and dated "boys" who made ridiculous comments and remarks about other women while I was standing right there (not my husband, he doesn't do this). In the end, I am tired... I will never be what the magazines and media tell you that a "woman" is supposed to be. But, I am indeed a woman. After my experience this past weekend I was mad at these men, who are a big part of my life, because they do not see me as a woman. Then I pondered why I was so mad. Finally, today, I had a realization. I don't care if they think I am a woman, the fact is and the proof shows, I am in fact a woman, not a girl. Probably more so than some of those "women" and "girls" they spoke of to me. I am a strong women, who has weaknesses sometimes and needs her family and friends and support. But, I know who I am and I do not have any fantasies that I will become anyone else, this is me, for life. I will never look like a model, and maybe they don't think I am beautiful on the outside (like the girl who was beautiful because of her long legs and apparent stripper like tendencies), but I have a brain and a body and a life helping others. If that does not make a beautiful woman than I don't know what the heck the definition of woman is.
6.22.2010
I got an award!
Thank you Shae for this award! I am super excited!
So in order to participate I must do the following:
Name 10 Things you love
1) My Husband for all of his love and support and for putting up with me when I am
at my worst!
2) My Parents who have loved and supported me all of my life.
3) My friends, my true friends who listen and support me, whether they live near
or far.
4) Home - this includes all of my homes. I love the warm fuzzy feeling of knowing
you are home and safe.
5) My Nephews! Because they always remind me what is really important in life and
have taught me to be patient.
6) My work - not always my job, but I do love the work I do and that I help others
to improve their lives.
7) Horses - Although I don't get to ride much right now... it will always be my
love.
8) Traveling and New Places: Another thing I do not do enough of!
9) Sleep and Naps!!
10) Me - I know this sounds selfish and stupid but it has taken me a while to love myself for who I am and not always put myself down, so this deserves to be #10 on the list!
And now to pass this Award on to other bloggers that I love! Here are 10 Blogs that I love and enjoy and would like to give this award to!
Tai Chi With Me
Journeys of a Rainbow Spork
Got Love, Been Married, now where the hell's the baby carriage
Horse OT
Serendipitous
You are what you eat!
Pub Rants
PCOS... A True Story
Hippotherapy in Sudan
Front Range Hippotherapy
6.14.2010
Weekend Update
Things are going well. I have been on the Avandia for 2 1/2 weeks now and I am feeling pretty good. The Progesterone worked well, and I had a good length period this time. Hooray, it actually stopped on it's own too! I have noticed some changes in things like hair growth (not as dark and it does not grow back as quickly). But I must admit that the potential side effects of the Avandia do bother me quite a bit. My Pre-Avandia blood tests were a bit shocking this time from the Endo. Cholosterol is better than it was last time (165) which is good for me, but my testosterone shot up to 107... I was previously down to 80! So, who knows what happened in the past 9 months to cause all of this... weight gain and no exercise anyone? I am hoping that this will lead to by body beginning to regulate itself better and independently working as it is supposed to work. Additionally, my husband and I will begin working out once our work schedules are back to not crazy again, which of course is the number one way to assist PCOS meds in working.
Speaking of work.. :) I feel I have had this enormous weight lifted off of my shoulders. I am becoming more and more excited about my new job, which will be in schools and starts in August. I can't wait to be in a different setting and a little more in control of my schedule and my life. My hubby started his new job today. It will be so nice to have us both working and having fairly normal schedules now. We may actually have some time together, now that we won't be arriving home past 7pm every night! Very Exciting. We have also begin to discuss "the topic" a lot... yes babies. It is crazy to think that we are getting closer to that time, but it sounds like it will be soon that we will try to start our family. I am so excited to be a mom, it is truly the one thing that I want most in life, next to being married to my husband (but I already have that!)... A horse or two would be nice to... but I can live without for now. Of course the PCOS worries me, but we have decided not to put pressure on anything yet and see what happens. All of you out there with PCOS will probably get this, but I don't want to put pressure on it at first... it will not be "we are trying to have a baby and it is SO stressful!" I am afraid if we do that it will never happen (I am enough of a worrier without having that to stress about too). So yes, I will post it on the blog, when it happens... or maybe three months after it happens. But at this point I am going to keep a positive outlook and think "when it happens" ... there will be no "if's" in my vocabulary for now!
Speaking of work.. :) I feel I have had this enormous weight lifted off of my shoulders. I am becoming more and more excited about my new job, which will be in schools and starts in August. I can't wait to be in a different setting and a little more in control of my schedule and my life. My hubby started his new job today. It will be so nice to have us both working and having fairly normal schedules now. We may actually have some time together, now that we won't be arriving home past 7pm every night! Very Exciting. We have also begin to discuss "the topic" a lot... yes babies. It is crazy to think that we are getting closer to that time, but it sounds like it will be soon that we will try to start our family. I am so excited to be a mom, it is truly the one thing that I want most in life, next to being married to my husband (but I already have that!)... A horse or two would be nice to... but I can live without for now. Of course the PCOS worries me, but we have decided not to put pressure on anything yet and see what happens. All of you out there with PCOS will probably get this, but I don't want to put pressure on it at first... it will not be "we are trying to have a baby and it is SO stressful!" I am afraid if we do that it will never happen (I am enough of a worrier without having that to stress about too). So yes, I will post it on the blog, when it happens... or maybe three months after it happens. But at this point I am going to keep a positive outlook and think "when it happens" ... there will be no "if's" in my vocabulary for now!
6.02.2010
I Quit!
I did, I quit both of my jobs today. My final day will be July 23rd. Yes, my third time quitting jobs in 2 years. But a better offer came along today and I am pretty excited about it. Just wanted to share. I am sure I have pissed off some people who I care about by doing this, but hey, you must follow your heart and I am young and ready to learn new things!! One thought came to me about this today. If I was a man, would people clap me on the back and say "good choice"? As women are we expected to "stick with things" even when it is not financially or personally fulfilling our needs, more so than men? How does this fit with how women take care of themselves?
Women are less likely then men to go in and ask for a raise, to ask for change when we think things are not going right. In the past I have always left jobs because I felt there was something ethical that I could not go along with, this time it was simply a good move for me and my family. I am excited to have summers off, to have time to spend with my family, and time to start our own family too!!
Hooray!!
Someday soon - My own therapy clinic! :)
Women are less likely then men to go in and ask for a raise, to ask for change when we think things are not going right. In the past I have always left jobs because I felt there was something ethical that I could not go along with, this time it was simply a good move for me and my family. I am excited to have summers off, to have time to spend with my family, and time to start our own family too!!
Hooray!!
Someday soon - My own therapy clinic! :)
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