What kind of female are you?

Have you ever spoken to a group of males before as the only female in the room? I recently spent the evening with my husband and a male friend of his, along with a roommate of this friend. I heard a lot of interesting stories, as my husband and his friend have known each other for a long time. Some stories you kind of think "huh that is interesting" and others... well, others I just plain did not want to hear. Now, I know I am not a "guys girl." I love my girlfriends and hanging out with them (although they all live so far away!). I also know that when we hang out we do not spend entire evenings comparing our past conquests or men that we once dated. We have better stuff to talk about! One of the things I heard a lot about, while surrounded by men last weekend, was women, other women, past women in their lives (ding ding... one of the things I did not want to hear about). I heard a lot of, "she was the hottest girl I ever dated," and "she had legs up to here, she was amazing." Notice I did not hear "she was so beautiful and intelligent. I could talk to her all night long." I also heard a lot of "you know, she was 'that kind of girl.'" After a full evening of this I began to wonder... what the heck is "that kind of girl?" and where the heck are the "women" in these men's lives?

There is something about men in their 30's, some females get to be called "women" and some are still "girls." Webster's dictionary states that a "girl is a term for a female between birth and adulthood" while a "woman is an adult female". For men, it does not seem to be an age barrier, but I cannot figure out where the line falls. I was recently informed that I still fall in the "girl" category. I find it baffling. I have supported myself and husband for 2 1/2 years now, kept a roof over our heads, paid hefty school loan payments along with all of our living expenses, worked 30-40 hours per week in an emotionally draining career, all while dealing with migraines, massive PMS, hair growth, weight gain, and everything else that comes with being a female and having PCOS. Yet I am still a "girl." What is "that type" that gets to be called a "woman?" I assume they have long legs, stylish hair, and wear a size 2 skirt suite to work every day with high heels. I, on the other hand, wear pants and tops (neither size 2!) with my comfy shoes, because I work around kids with disabilities, and ya know, a nice skirt suite just does not work when you are helping someone learn play skills. My next question begs, what type of respect and behavior does a "woman" get verses those of us who remain "girls," although we are old enough to be someone's mother?

As I sat and listened to the stories of the past I began to wonder, would these stories be told in front of just any female, or is it the fact that I am still considered a "girl" that I am subjected to such ridiculousness? If I was a "woman" would men be trying to "appear" well behaved, would there be attempts to "impress," or at least not so demeaning toward women.

I am old enough to have had good and bad relationships with men... maybe I should call them boys.... I have made relationship mistakes and dated "boys" who made ridiculous comments and remarks about other women while I was standing right there (not my husband, he doesn't do this). In the end, I am tired... I will never be what the magazines and media tell you that a "woman" is supposed to be. But, I am indeed a woman. After my experience this past weekend I was mad at these men, who are a big part of my life, because they do not see me as a woman. Then I pondered why I was so mad. Finally, today, I had a realization. I don't care if they think I am a woman, the fact is and the proof shows, I am in fact a woman, not a girl. Probably more so than some of those "women" and "girls" they spoke of to me. I am a strong women, who has weaknesses sometimes and needs her family and friends and support. But, I know who I am and I do not have any fantasies that I will become anyone else, this is me, for life. I will never look like a model, and maybe they don't think I am beautiful on the outside (like the girl who was beautiful because of her long legs and apparent stripper like tendencies), but I have a brain and a body and a life helping others. If that does not make a beautiful woman than I don't know what the heck the definition of woman is.